This is my kid asleep on a coffee table. I can’t even sleep in my own bed.
13 reasons why I didn’t get any sleep last night:
- Not one, not two, but three helicopters flew overhead last night, and in my half-consciousness I tried to figure out whether the sound was the central heating I was sure I turned off actually kicking back in. Nope, just three helicopters. Or one helicopter three times. I’m not familiar with identifying helicopters at night just yet.
- Child number one wanting a hug at 1.3oam and for me to get into her bed. I hugged her and sent her back to her bed with my pillow and told her to snuggle that instead.
- Child number two getting into my bed not long after that.
- Getting up to go to the toilet and being unable to figure out if it is 2.30am or 6.30am because realistically it could be either but it would mean the difference between going back to sleep or having to get up imminently.
- Child number two rolling around for a good 45 minutes and complaining about the cat a good 40% of that time.
- Child number two after a period of stillness sticking her foot out of the blankets about 4 centimetres from my face and whispering loudly “mum, look at that!”
- 15 minutes later asking “is it morning?
- 5 minutes later “I’m hungry”. So was I at that point.
- When she went back to bed the cat resumed his position of paw and darling fluffy head on my head, only he positioned his loudly-purring throat directly over my ear.
- At this point I put on Stephen King’s On Writing audiobook and listened to him recount the tale of when he had his eardrums punctured by a 30cm needle as a kid, and describing the resulting “wet patch with little tendrils of pus in it”. Even though I’ve read the book before, the pus wasn’t anywhere near as confronting as it was when he described it out loud at 4am. It was not conducive to sleep. Those little tendrils are still with me.
- Cat number two jumped between the cheap, plasticky blinds we have in our bedroom and the window. The window rattled. The cheap plasticky blinds cracked and rustled in the super-loud way only cheap plasticky blinds can. She ran madly back and forth until Lunchbox made her move.
- 10 minutes later, she did it again, but louder this time.
- Crushing self-doubt, acute embarrassment, and a good, healthy dose of beating myself up about various things, including but not limited to: this blog, writing in general, my terrible social skills, writing a book, lack of proficient domestic timeliness, the inability of my youngest child to eat vegetables, and the years 1996-1999 inclusive.
Going to bed early tonight.
Dude! Its a Christmas miracle- I got back on your blog 2 days in a row!!! I promise I’ll stop getting excited about this/banging on about it soon.Maybe….
And seriously, your nights are VERY similar to mine. Multiply children waking up, them in my bed or me in their bed. The cat carrying on which has me on edge ever since shes started bring LIVE FUCKING MICE inside & killing them in the kids room ( cue hysterical children when they wake up to a dead mouse on the floor ) or letting them loose in the house ( cue hysteria from me when I see a mouse run from one place to another & all I can do is jump on a bed/table/chair & scream like a cartoon character). Husband snoring, which is VERY similar to helicopters overhead! And then my delightful head playing the game of “lets see how many crazy, fucked up thoughts you can have in the space of the next two hours !”
BUT! Last night both little people slept all night & that meant I had a solid 6-7 hours sleep which is UNHEARD of! It was the first thing I said to Tim when the alarm went off at 5am & its totally coloured my day happy!!! Hope tonight is better x
Good luck with your early night! I was having the most ridiculous and awful dreams. I think I was hot which makes quality sleep difficult for me.
xo
Hope you get some sleep tonight, I got super excited the other day because Evie slept from 10 til 6 in her bed my excitement was short lived as she celebrated this the next night by waking hourly…………..
I haven’t had much sleep in a while. I’ve been doing the single parent thing whilst my husband has been working interstate and being sick and still having to wake up and take care of three young children during the night has certainly taken its toll. Good luck with your early night. Here is to a night where everyone’s children sleep through.
I don’t think I slept from 1989 to 2005. It’s very frustrating and hard to be patient.Personally, I would have throttled the cat.
Ooh I feel ya! Although glad I missed those helicopters. I realised today that I feel my most positive for about 30 mins a day, which is the direct result of buying and drinking my takeaway mocha and then the rest of the time I worry about shit! Maybe those winter blues again damn them.
Oh god I hope they bypass me this year, I had enough of them the last two years! ENOUGH.