Two under two – how did I do it?

I dunno, man… how does anyone do two under two? One foot in front of the other and all that. But seeing as a couple of people who are expecting number two have asked how I found it, I thought I’d share.

Five months down the track (I KNOW, shut up) I can say that it has gotten way easier. That magic three month mark was indeed magic, and I felt as though finally we were getting on top of things.

But overall… it was easier than it was hard. I felt I had my head screwed on straighter than I did with Abby, even though I really felt as though I hit the ground running with her. I thought clearer and I didn’t feel as though every minute of every day was lost in a newborn fog. We did good, I think.

With an 18-month-age gap, I was curious – how would it pan out? 24 hours in a day is a long bloody time. I wrote this post and asked for advice. And I’m here to tell you I heeded it all! (except the “get a cleaner” thing… and my bathroom is still filthy).

But my favourite nugget of wisdom? Just sit. Just sit and be. And I did.
photo-9 photo-10

It might not be your thing, but it was mine. I sat. I cuddled. I stared. I just absorbed their greatness and ignored the rest. I do know how fleeting time is when tiny guys are tiny, and I didn’t want to live up to some ideal anyone else placed on me. I was a frizzy-haired, poorly dressed woman sitting on the couch all day every day with her two small children. I ignored all housework bar making the bed and ensuring the kitchen was tidy. In fact, that was the biggest adjustment I had to make – that my house was just going to be in disarray a lot more than I was used to, but I had to accept it.

We also watched a lot of TV. It is only just now that we’re going back to turning it off for the most part during the day. Abby at 18 months was really not very good at entertaining herself or being distracted so she wouldn’t want anything while I was feeding or settling Pepper. And seeing that Pepper was having at least four sleeps a day for a while there, and Abby would play at an activity for a minute and a half before she started eating it, I needed something that would keep her quiet and within my sight a lot of the time. And that was TV. Or an iPad – man, she became a whiz at that thing!
photo

And I got sleep! Sweet lord cheesus, I got sleep right from day one. I had Pepper in bed with me and Veggie Dad slept on the couch for the first three months. I could roll over and feed Pepper (roughly every two hours) and roll right back over and go to sleep. Dad wasn’t disturbed by the constant shuffling and he would deal with Abby in the morning when she got up. Again, it might not be your thing, but DAMMIT I GOT SLEEP!

Nowadays Pepper sleeps on a mattress on the floor next to my bed. When she wakes (still about four times a night), I get on the mattress next to her and feed her til she drifts off again. Then I get back into bed and go back to sleep. It’s still a hell of a lot more sleep than I got in eight months with Abby – I would get out of bed, get her out of the cot, go into the lounge, feed her til she fell asleep, hold her for twenty minutes to ensure she was truly out, put her back in the cot and lay in my bed for an hour too wired to sleep. Well I wasn’t letting that happen again. And where did I get that idea anyway?! This might not be conventional, but did you read my caps back there? It works.

Well, for me anyway. Abby stopped napping during the day for the most part, so when people advised to synchronise the babies’ naps, I smiled politely and cried on the inside. Until I found a way that meant Pepper would be rocked to sleep and Abby (who likes someone to lay with her while she drifts off) could nap long enough to keep the crankies at bay – we would all pile on the rocking chair and mama would watch Dr Phil and both the little guys would snooze. Win-win-win.
photo-2 at home with two sleeping

And if that didn’t work, well we’d go for a nice scenic drive for an hour. Oh boy it felt GOOD! I would even go through the coffee shop drive through and order a hot chocolate and just cruise the streets, listening to podcasts and not having anyone need me for just a little while.

photo-11

I also would gauge the mess-to-freedom ratio and sometimes would let Abby go nuts on something if it gave me enough time to put pepper to sleep in the bedroom, or to have a whole hot cup of tea. I swept up rice from one end of the lounge to the other, but it was so worth it.

photo-8

The biggest thing that I found useful (besides the sleeeeep) was getting into the kitchen with Abby and cooking. This was a little later on when Pepper would be happy in a rocker for a few minutes, but it killed two birds with one stone – there would be bread, or pikelets or muffins or something that was quick for us all to snack on, and it also was quality activity time I was spending with Abby. (Abby stir, mum? Peece?).

photo-4

Getting out of the house wasn’t an everyday occurence, but I did it to break up a particularly shitty day, or even if I was just feeling energised (heh). Abby has always been very good in the pram, and Pepper loved the Ergo. I found this combo to be vastly more easy to navigate than a double pram, and as a bonus, Pepper’s head was in kissing distance. I never stayed long enough that I would have to sort out nappy changes and baby feedings, but a quick trip for something different, and maybe a nap for them both in the car before or after.

photo-7

I also went out with Veggie Dad, just the two of us. Only twice in those first months, but boy it made a difference. I really love that guy, and he is a great father. It was so nice to just be with him, even if it was just for an hour.

photo-6

Sure there were times when two kids by myself was just kicking my ass and I’d sit there and cry. Often they were both looking at me and crying too. In those moments it was hard and overwhelming and once I even wished I could walk out the front door and leave it to someone else to sort out. But there is no-one else. The buck stops with me. That’s a massive responsibility, and the hard moments where I was frazzled and felt out of control were hideous but not altogether unexpected. You just know those times are going to happen, but I guess you realise how good you’ve got it when you’re constantly aware they could happen at any time and they don’t. Makes you grateful. But when it’s bad, it’s really bad and sometimes you shout and sometimes you just have to sit them both where they’re safe and go sit in your room and shut the door for five minutes. And try not to beat yourself up for shouting. It’s emotionally a tough gig, and you’ve got to be firm and pull yourself together. Don’t ruin the rest of the day in a filthy mood, just harden up. If it kicks your ass again, just keep hitting your reset button. I always tried to remember two things: someone would be home soon to help out, and they had to sleep eventually. Even if it wasn’t right at that moment when I desperately wished one or both would!

photo-3And sometimes when it’s gross, you just make them do really cute things and you sit there and feel overwhelming love for two little creatures who call you their mum. And you feel as though you can survive the next five minutes, and then you end up surviving another day.

And as for that 18-month gap? It was perfect. It was a surprise, sure, but it ended up being the best thing ever.

 

  • Kate

    Raw. Real. Heartfelt. Gorgeous. Love the pic if Pepper and Ab on the couch cuddling.. What a gorgeous story.. Ruby is nearly one and we know we want a sister or brother for her. We’ll wait a bit but if/when it happens I’ll keep this article at the click of a button..

    • http://www.theveggiemama.com Veggie Mama

      Oh do! It really is achievable. I was already pregnant by the time abby was one, so I had no say in the matter, haha. We really did come through it pretty cleanly and I’m looking forward to them being close… hopefully!

  • http://slapdashmama.blogspot.com.au/ SarahMac

    Oh Veggie MamA I could have written this! Not as well though ha. I had a 2.5 year gap and it still kicked my ass. I second the couch sitting and the tv watching. 2.5 year olds can be very emotional and very very jealous! TV soothes the pain. Thank you God for ABC 4 Kids. Now they are 3.5 and 1, it is happy days indeed. Mostly. xx

    • http://slapdashmama.blogspot.com.au/ SarahMac

      Oops and also the sleep. Especially the sleep. I had the second baby in bed with me too. Ivwent mad from sleep deprivation first time. That was the single greatest difference this time round. Sleep is key. Yes indeed. x

      • http://www.theveggiemama.com Veggie Mama

        I actually think I prefer the 18 months to the 2.5 years, as abby has never been jealous. She thought it was all great fun, she had no idea! And while she still needs a lot from me every day, she was also happy to try and dress a baby doll for 20 minutes, where I think an older kid would be harder to satisfy. So kudos to you my dear, I think you ran a harder race than I did! congrats on getting through the youngest’s first year :)

  • Natalie Stewart

    I have a six year age gap and it’s the pits. It hasn’t always been, when Miss L was a new born it was bliss. Red, whose nearly 10 now, could entertain himself, feed himself, grab me something to wipe myself down with if Miss L vomited all over me etc.

    It is much harder now, mostly for Red. To him it seems that Miss L gets away with everything and that our expectations of him are “not fair”. It’s so hard to tell him that you have to pick your battles with a head strong, red haired 3 year old. That the things that irritate him are ways of her learning new things. And that he didn’t get in trouble for the exact same thing at the same age.

    But we all do what we can. I too have had my crying moments, in fact I remember shouting through my tears at them not so long ago “I’m a person too”, yep there are days in my house that you would think there are more than 2 children living here.

    • http://www.theveggiemama.com Veggie Mama

      Oh man, mama crying moments are the worst! All that frustration. It’s hard to reason with kids who don’t logically make the connections we do, and we don’t want to see them hurt. I remember myself being so emotional at 9, and thinking everything was just not fair and the younger kids always got more stuff than I did, or they didn’t get into trouble as much. I was just so serious! I don’t think parenting ever gets emotionally easier, although it becomes less physically demanding. I’m actually scared of the older years, newborns just need feeding, cleaning and loving!

  • Katie Rainbird

    I used to lie awake after the overnight feeds, freaking out that she’d just wake up
    again. Zombie land for months. Urgh, I shudder at that memory! Sleeping with the bubs is the answer for shniz, smart woman!

    • http://www.theveggiemama.com Veggie Mama

      Ha sometimes I would sleep so deeply that it would feel like she woke up immediately after I put her down, but it had been two hours! I didn’t even feel as though I’d been asleep. Gah.

  • Angela

    Great post Stacey. I’m due with my second in 4 weeks & reading this came me some relief to how I will manage, I will have a 2 year age gap. Really enjoyed reading it!

    • http://www.theveggiemama.com Veggie Mama

      Ohh I hope you’ll as fortunate as I was! Abby will be two next month and I know it would be the very same if I brought Pepper home from the hospital now than it was when I did it five months ago. I was so relieved to find that it was actually pretty good. I enjoyed it wholeheartedly most of the time (still do!) and the bad parts were few and far between and over very soon. Just get through the first six weeks, then the first three months, and you’ll be laughing xx

  • Peggy

    I love that you did whatever worked for you at the time, without thinking it wasn’t in that big great “handbook for mothers of two babies under 18 months”. Well done. WELL DONE!

    I sense peace and serenity, even amid the reality of the bad moments. And that’s life isn’t it, sometimes messy, sometimes bad, but if you sit and see it for what it is the good outshines all the crappy moments. Well and truly. xo

    • http://www.theveggiemama.com Veggie Mama

      I could not give a rat’s what anybody thinks of me and my parenting, I really couldn’t. I love my kids desperately and do right by them, and that’s all anyone has the right to demand. Having said that, my own standards are pretty exacting and I don’t like to feel I’ve failed at that! I think if there’s an undercurrent of peace and serenity, then when the bad times hit they’re over quickly and they don’t knock you down as hard. Whatever keeps us relaxed and ready to meet the challenges head on is whatever anyone should do. I love you Peggy!

  • Courtney

    Thank you for this post. I’m 3 weeks away from having my second (19 month gap) and I’ve been wondering how on earth I’m going to manage. I’m already super tired! This post gave me hope that it is going to be ok. :-)

    • http://www.theveggiemama.com Veggie Mama

      Pregnancy tiredness is the pits! Oh how I suffered in my last months! Once the baby was out though, i felt like a whole new woman. You will totally be ok. Honestly, it was just not as hard as I was expecting… I really actually enjoyed it. I hope you do too!

  • http://mumtoddlerbabe.blogspot.com/ virginia – mumtoddlerbabe

    All put so beautifully! What a wonderful mama you are. xx

    • http://www.theveggiemama.com Veggie Mama

      It’s my kids who make me such a good mum :) xx

  • Yellow_Dandy

    Great post!!! I know it is going to be very similar for us in a few months (although we have a 22 month gap), so its nice to know how other people got through it! TV is the only thing that makes Ezra sit still, so I’ll probably be relying on it a bit as well, but better having them with you and safe than getting hurt somewhere else!! x Karen

    • http://www.theveggiemama.com Veggie Mama

      Oh I’m so about TV if that’s what it takes. Abby’s still too little to tantrum when it gets turned off, and occasionally she’ll ask to watch Peppa Pig, but if it’s not on now she doesn’t even notice. I think a 22-month gap will be quite similar to what I went through, so I hope this post helps even in the smallest way! xo

  • http://www.stylingyou.com.au/ Nikki | Styling You

    Finding your own rhythm is the key, my love, and you’ve found yours. It’s about survival and finding how that looks for you. You will look back in 16 years like me and wonder how the bloody hell you did survive … and at least you’ll have this post to remember that!

    • http://www.theveggiemama.com Veggie Mama

      I never forgot that you said it was about survival, so I did the best I could to make it easy on myself, to hell with anyone else! If the babies were happy, and I was happy, then I would have done anything. Your children are wonderfully beautiful, and I love that they never give you any trouble. You did good, my friend. You did real good x

  • http://www.petitarmoir.com.au/ Miriam@PetitArmoir

    I love your photo’s. Your family looks so full of love and happiness. I’m exacty 12 months younger than my sister and although we are total opposites (she’s a herbivore, I’m an omnivore, she’s free range, I’m a rules girl) we are the best of friends. Your gilrs will appreciate how close their ages are, especially when they’re older and having babies of their own. Just don’t do what my mother and older sister did and have 3 under 4yrs! That’s hard!!

    • http://www.theveggiemama.com Veggie Mama

      oh my yes I know a few of those! and I had a friend with 3 under 3 – heroes, the lot of them. I can already see Pepper and Abby are different and I think you get more bang for your buck that way! diversity is fun, as is guessing which one will keep me on my toes and which one will be cruisy.

  • http://www.justbaustralia.com.au/ Pip @ JustB

    I really love reading your spin on things, lady. It’s SUPER good to get a peek into your world. I was talking to a friend about ‘getting a feeling about people’ and how you should tell them. So I am telling YOU that my feeling is you are destined to do BIG THINGS. I can feel it. x

    • http://www.theveggiemama.com Veggie Mama

      Aw Pippin, that means so much! Thank you! I love peeking behind the curtain at other people’s lives too, and I can’t even begin to describe how some blog posts have helped me not feel so crazy as a mum. I like to think someone will read this and feel not so nervous about doing the same. I can’t wait for BIG THINGS but I’ve got a lot of playdough to roll first! xo

  • Cath @mybeardedpigeon

    My number 1 never slept in a cot, just so hard to get her in it, so we co slept and doing the same now. So much easier. I put the baby in the cot during the day now she is rolling and that works. But even with the oldest at school there is still a lot of sitting! You are doing a fab job! X

    • http://www.theveggiemama.com Veggie Mama

      I firmly believe that with all newborns comes a lot of sitting, regardless of how old the other ones are! Abby slept in a cot from day one, but we all liked it that way. Pepper will too when she only wakes once a night or something – this four times business is crazy! I believe whatever gets everyone the most sleep wins, no matter how it happens. You are doing a fab job too! Romi is just delightful. And Pepper won’t be far behind her with the rolling… she’s almost there :)

  • Kelley @ magnetoboldtoo

    I had 2 under two and didn’t rock it half as well as you are. Wait until they can play together… Omg your heart will explode.

    • http://www.theveggiemama.com Veggie Mama

      It’s already killing me when one makes the other laugh, and Abby just wants to sit quietly on the couch with pepper on her lap. Oh dear lord sweet cheesus I could bawl.

  • Kelley

    Beautiful pics. Sleep is da bomb. ( just quietly, didn’t expect you to be using a dummy)

    • http://www.theveggiemama.com Veggie Mama

      Ha, really? Why not? Abby wanted one, Pepper didn’t. (and amen about sleep!)

  • http://www.facebook.com/angela.letchford Angela Letchford

    Beautiful said – we are 11 weeks in to our second child and are starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel, so couldn’t have said it better! xx

    • http://www.theveggiemama.com Veggie Mama

      Ah the magic three month mark! I think it’s once they start getting a bit predictable – you know if you put them down they’ll sleep for at least an hour or something. Those newborn weeks when anything can happen is when all hell breaks loose!

  • Reannon Hope

    Lovely honest post Stacey.

    With only about 8 weeks to go until the little guy arrives thanks for the reminder to do what works. I’m such a routine, control freak type of gal & having such a HUGE gap between kids plus Tim doing a 4:1 roster I’ve been kind of freaking out how I’m going to cope. I’m going to remind myself of your words in the months to come & hopefully it’ll help get me through.

    xx

    • http://www.theveggiemama.com Veggie Mama

      Yep, let go of that control freak tendency as early as you can! I honestly believe the reason we’re all so laid back is that I let go of all expectations other than to be there for both my kids in these early stages. My day is dictated by what they need and when they’re chilling doing something else, I go unpack the dishwasher or something. Nobody’s stressed, nobody is half an hour past naptime and screaming the house down… I never know what each day will bring, but if I follow their lead we cruise through without drama. There’s time to gently ease them into routine later. but this all works for me, it might be different for others! Who knows, your newborn might fit into your routine no sweat and you’ll wonder what you were so worried about ;-)

  • http://www.figandcherry.com/ Christie Connelly

    Such a great post Stacey. I love your idea of sleeping with bub and breastfeeding lying down while hubby sleeps in another room. We have discussed this possibility too and it’s good to hear it is good in practice.

    ps. related to another post – had your sore throat tonic this morning – yum! And no more sore throat already. Take that germs!!

    • http://www.theveggiemama.com Veggie Mama

      Oh yes I did see that! Did you do the cayenne? It’s amazing. And three months is a blip when you think about it – if it means all three (four!) of you are getting sleep, and you’ve gotta be awake all day with two babies, I thoroughly recommend it. Do what works, man, nobody’s keeping score! xo
      (PS EXCITED!)

      • http://www.figandcherry.com/ Christie Connelly

        Yep two shakes of cayenne. Loved the chilli hit! ps. Me too :)

        • http://www.theveggiemama.com Veggie Mama

          Oh boy it’s just the year for babies, I’m thrilled x

  • Lisa mckenzie

    This is a beautiful post Stacey I love it all your feelings and your fears and your love for those 2 little girls and your husband so beautiful,and the pics they nearly made me cry,menopause sheesh!! I had 2 under 2 too and basically did what you did ,i was easier on myself when I had my daughter,I let her sleep in our bed,she self served herself at my milkbar ,I demand feeded her whenever she wanted a drink,a human cow but i loved it and in the day time my son would sit next to me and feed his Wayne Peirce Doll an olden day Balmain tigers footy player.We played,we read books, we whatched Tv ,playschool and Brum and Gumby and played in the sandpit and did nap together as well I would feed my daughter to sleep and then put my son down to sleep,they were good kids and still good kids even though they are in their 20s now I still love them with that intensity,I am do glad I had them close together as they still are very close and love each other very much and thats what is important ,not housework or cleaning the oven. Happy babies make happy adults,you are on the right track babe,keep on doing what your doing x

    • http://www.theveggiemama.com Veggie Mama

      Ohh I love every time you share about your kids! Playschool is a big hit here too, we just bought an album so we can dance to all the funny songs and do all the actions. I love that your son used to feed his footy player doll! That’s the coolest story!

      • Lisa Mckenzie

        Anything you want to know Stacey just ask hon,yep,playschool has cool songs and wiggles too! Yep James was the coolest little kid he wanted to be like Mama!

        • http://www.theveggiemama.com Veggie Mama

          I”m thinking of getting Abby some wiggles things!

  • Amy {The Misadventurous Maker}

    Love this post Stace! A good reminder for me with Babycakes #3 on the way!!! The just being there and sitting is really spot on! I did that with my first 2 and I think it really helped me prioritise and connect with both of my babes rather than get caught up in the busyness of it all. My house looked like a barnyard but we were fed and dressed (pajamas count!) and loved up. This time will be a bit trickier with a 4 year old to drive to and from kinder 3 days a week – eek! But I’ve already warned the kinder mums to expect to see me in my pjs at drop off!

    You are seriously doing an awesome job and your girls are just so gorgeous and most importantly so loved and secure. That’s all that matters isn’t it? The chores will wait, speedily growing babes will not! Embrace and enjoy and be silly when it gets hard! Can you please give me a kick in the butt if I lose my mind in a couple of months and redirect me to this fab post?!?! Thank you!
    xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

    • http://www.theveggiemama.com Veggie Mama

      Now three is what scares me! I think I’ll retire on top. And as you can see, Abby is still in her pyjamas for her day nap – I totally considered that “dressed”! As long as my kids feel loved and secure, the washing can wait, you’re absolutely right. I’m feeling as though I can get more on top of that stuff now, and I’m so glad I just lived in the moment x

  • Mother Down Under

    You are the best.
    Look at those girls…cutest things ever…and they are so lucky to have you as their mom!

    I am a huge fan of whatever works and I am a huge fan of the Celtics…glad to see that Veggie Dad is too!

    • http://www.theveggiemama.com Veggie Mama

      He’s a big fan of basketball singlets in general!

  • http://www.retailtherapie.com.au/ RetailTherapie

    YOU GO GIRL!
    I don’t have kids, and I am not sure kids will ever work into my life plan, but man if I do I will be coming to you for the advice.
    Your girls are beautiful, you are doing a wonderful job with them xox

    • http://www.theveggiemama.com Veggie Mama

      Oh but you need babies! You are such a good auntie, you need your own now that you’ve had so much practice x

  • sar (accidental lentil)

    you’re wonderful. I think i should print this out for when number two comes along in two months.

    • http://www.theveggiemama.com Veggie Mama

      I’ll be your personal cheer squad!

  • Erin

    I think Amity from The Block summed it up when she said that as crazy as a day on the Block was, it was still easier than being home with two kids for the day. Oh golly I remember those days, hard work, but it really is a very special time in your life.

    • http://www.theveggiemama.com Veggie Mama

      Yes! You can be crying one minute then they do something funny and you’re in hysterics. Being home with two may be harder than a full day’s renovating, but that renovating will never make you feel the way those kiddies do :)

  • Cherie

    Thank you from someone expecting ‘surprise’ number 2 only 17 months after number 1… this makes me feel a little more easy about my pending arrival :)

    • http://www.theveggiemama.com Veggie Mama

      Ooh congratulations! I know of so many babies due this year and it’s just so exciting. pepper was a surprise too, but what a wonderful one :)

  • Suzanne

    This is lovely and so very honest and everything you said is So true!! Your girls are gorgeous and so are you!! Keep up that amazing job you are doing!! xx

    • http://www.theveggiemama.com Veggie Mama

      Thank you Suzanne! I hope to always go at it with all I’ve got x

  • http://www.facebook.com/emma.elliott.908 Emma Elliott

    Sounds like your doing the right things to me my 2 year old still sleeps with me but I dontmind they grow up so quick. Your babies are gorgeous or should I say baby and big girl :)

    • http://www.theveggiemama.com Veggie Mama

      They do grow up so quickly don’t they… and once they’re out of your bed for good you don’t get it again! I sometimes get in with Abby in the middle of the night… she’s so huggable :)

      • http://www.facebook.com/emma.elliott.908 Emma Elliott

        So nice to share that and you and I will both have those memories of our children when they were young ;)

  • http://twitter.com/AmyZempilas Amy Zempilas

    Beautifully honest and inspiring post! I think a lot of motherhood is letting go… mostly of your own expectations, and just enjoying your kids. With number two on the way, we’ll have a 2 and a half year age gap and although I know there will be an adjustment period, I’m also quietly confident that everything will be OK. A x x

    • http://www.theveggiemama.com Veggie Mama

      WHAT OH MY GOD CONGRATULATIONSSSSS! Oh wow. That confidence will see you through… we had a mostly easy time of it, and you can too. You know the habits of at least one of those children, which helps tremendously x

  • http://twitter.com/writeaboutme_au Naomi T

    Beautiful piece Stacey! Honest…and beautiful :)

    • http://www.theveggiemama.com Veggie Mama

      Thank you! Honest is all I know x

  • Cara

    Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! For someone who is 33 weeks pregnant with a 16month old, this is EXACTLY what I needed to hear! Thanks for being so open and honest when others aren’t.

    • http://www.theveggiemama.com Veggie Mama

      YOU CAN DO IT! Totally! And I hope some of my tips will help you. Just ignore everyone and everything for those first months, and do what you need to do to survive. What matters is that you’re looking after yourself and you can give your two little ones a calm, collected and happy mama meeting their needs. And those times when it’s not so easy, cut yourself some slack. This too shall pass x

  • Housewife in Heels

    I love hearing stories of mums with small age gaps. There is a gap of 16 months between my boys (now nearly 16 months and 2.75 years). My mother had three children 18 months apart (my older sister and then my twin and I)- so I thought it would be a breeze…. but it was so busy. Much like you- I survived by co-sleeping, using the ergo and accepting my house would be messy. When times were particularly difficult, I would phone my husband. If he wasn’t there I would leave him a message consisting purely of my babies’ crying- just so he glimpsed the struggle! Now it’s a little easier- and they have so much fun playing together – and I think it’s only going to get better.

    • http://www.theveggiemama.com Veggie Mama

      Haha once my husband came home and I was in the loo – Pepper crying on the floor with me, and Abby crying in the doorway. He asked what was wrong, and I answered “nothing – this is normal!” little kiddos do a lot of crying when they can’t talk. You learn to live with the noise! Unlike you I thought it was going to be just 24/7 tough and I was so pleased to learn it wasn’t. But we did it, huh?! and kudos to your mama! I was so scared Pepper would be twins.

  • Homethejaksmade

    Oh wow this post made me feel so good! I have a 27 month old and a three month old and have been living what you just described right down to the same sleep sack and same kiddie couch in the photo! I love the way you write, you can feel the love you have for your girls shine through in your words. My new favourite blog!

    • http://www.theveggiemama.com Veggie Mama

      Oh thank you so much for saying so! I really get a kick out of this blog, so it’s nice to hear others do too. Are you getting much reprieve three months on? Sometimes pepper sleeps through the night and it’s EVER SO NICE!!!

  • http://annikaooh.blogspot.com.au/ Annika Ooh

    Lovely post. My kids are 2yrs + 5 months apart. I had a newborn and was amidst in toilet training my toddler. My husband also works 12 hour rotating shifts (7am to 7pm and nightshifts 7pm to 7am). It was insane. Um, it still is! hehe. They are 17 months and almost 4 now. My eldest just started kindy. First time away from me apart from nanna and poppy sleepovers. There is no reprieve yet. It just amped up a level of new craziness trying to do our 8 day family week, running on a 7 day normal schedule. Our weekends move one day along each week. If our weekend starts Wednesday this week, it starts Thursday next week and so on. I constantly have to check what the name of the day is. In my head it is numbered day 1 through to day 8. lol

    It all makes us unique little families, and we should be a little more gentle on each other because families are all diverse, but full of love :)

    • http://www.theveggiemama.com Veggie Mama

      I was almost confused reading this, I can only imagine how you live it every day! Must keep you well on your toes. I’m sort of glad Pepper came so soon after Abby as we didn’t have to deal with jealousy or toilet training – two very wearing things toddlers do!
      Meanwhile, I think it is brilliant you say we should be a little more gentle on each other… such wonderful advice that is worth remembering.

  • Caitlin Jeffrey

    Such a beautiful post Stacey. And gorgeous pics of your completely gorgeous family. I think that you are amazing. My friend very recently went from 1, to now having 3 under 2. I’m sending her here for a helpful read!

    • http://www.theveggiemama.com Veggie Mama

      She won’t have time! haha x

  • Kate Mitchell

    Thank you so much for writing this post! I have already read it three times, I’m pretty sure I will come back to it many times more over the next few months.

    • http://www.theveggiemama.com Veggie Mama

      I hope it has helped!

  • jo

    Loved reading this! I had our 3rd son 2 weeks before our eldest son turned 3! Can so relate to everything you wrote about, there were days when if we all got out of our pjs we were having a good day!

    • http://www.theveggiemama.com Veggie Mama

      Haha the PJ test! I figured it was a good day if there was a shower in it for me x

  • Zoe Morosini

    I love hearing about someone being ok with their own parenting. As a community we can have a tendency to criticise before we support and ultimately I think we can be susceptible to losing confidence as parents. I have thought many times that if a second one comes along I will do a lot more sitting and watching. Raff stopped being a newborn in a matter of seconds and I would like to try to enjoy the craziness that it is because it never lasts. Thanks, this was really lovely x

    • http://www.theveggiemama.com Veggie Mama

      Yes, what’s with that? They go from newborn to teenager in fifteen minutes. Parenting is the one thing I don’t want to get wrong, and while there are always things I can do to be better, I have to be happy with what I do. I don’t like the tendency to criticise either! I find it fairly useless… parents are going to parent they way they are comfortable with. And I’ve been quite fortunate that it seems to be working for us. If it didn’t, I would certainly change it!

  • Nickie

    Thanks for keeping it real. Baby #3 here and yep WE get sleep too, the only way we can, snuggled up in mums bed.

    • http://www.theveggiemama.com Veggie Mama

      Man, Pepper still wakes anywhere from two to eight times a night, so I gotta do what I gotta do! They’re only little for so long, what’s a snuggle between friends :)

  • Carly

    Hi Stacey, I’ve followed your blog here & there but never really sat down & read properly. I have a 3 month old (1st bub) & now that I’m a SAHM, I’m really enjoying reading through your posts. Thanks for this great post… I love your way of letting us see into your life – truthfully & real. They make me feel more normal & gives me so much inspiration to keep on going during these 1st few testing months. Cheers. Carly. x

    • http://www.theveggiemama.com Veggie Mama

      Oh yes, the first few months are pretty brutal. I wish you all the luck in the world! And so pleased you like to read here x

  • mamatao

    I am currently in the thick of 2 under 2; My daughter is 18 months older than my 2.5 month old son. Thanks for the post, its a much needed reminder that I will get through this!

    • http://www.theveggiemama.com Veggie Mama

      Oh yep, that’s right at the coalface of parenting! you can do it! It gets easier, and although that 18-month gap is tight, it’s also pretty cool. Hang in there, girlfriend! And feel free to ask me anything you want x

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