A little while ago on Facebook, I declared that my lunch that day was the best egg sandwich of all time. OF ALL TIME. Intrigued by the boldness of my claim, somebody asked me what my technique was, as we all secretly think our way is the best way of sandwich-making (my husband likes the cheese on the top, I like it on the bottom, he’s clearly wrong), I thought I’d share. When I was a kid and moaned to my ma that I was hungry, I knew her answer was ALWAYS going to be “have a sandwich!”, and to me, that was the equivalent of “go cut off your own arm!”. I hated sandwiches.
But I have a few rules. I’m partial to a vegemite and cheese sandwich, soft white bread, crusts cut off. I like a good salad with plenty of mustard and mayo, I love a curried egg. But the one thing they all have in common is they’ve got to be on TOP-QUALITY bakery bread. Soft inner, and crunchy crust. I like a sourdough and whatever from time to time (will always choose a salad roll over a salad sandwich, for shiz), but for your average, every-day staple, it’s gotta be bakery bread. Sliced in sandwich thickness.
If you’re slapping together an egg sambo (as Beth would say, I have actually never used the term), allow me to download into your brain the correct way to do so. Your way is wrong. I am right.
For two of the BEST EGG SANDWICHES OF ALL TIME, you’re going to need:
Four slices of good-quality, thinly-sliced bread
salt and pepper (I often go plain white pepper AND cracked black. I love that shit.)
Good-quality mayonnaise (although I am SO partial to a Miracle Whip, sorry purists. Ranch dressing is also rad. As is a tablespoon or so of cream)
And this guy:
This is my granny and my nana all rolled into one. Who didn’t have a curried egg sandwich triangle from a plate decorated with parsley on it, growing up in Australia? So good.
So – if rule number one is good quality bakery bread, rule number two is only boil your eggs for 8 minutes.
That way you don’t get that ugly-ass green ring around your now-powdery yolk. EW. You put a pot of water on to boil. When it starts, you pop your (organic, free-range) eggy weggs into the water and set the timer for 8 minutes. When they’re done, you tip out the hot water and run them under cold water for a minute or so. They will keep cooking, as is their wont, but they won’t overcook, as you’ve given them a few minutes’ grace. Besides, I like a little gooey golden yolk, not a pale powdery number.
Rule number three – don’t be shy with the salt.
You want your sandwich to be a flavour explosion, not a witheringly boring white egg sandwich on white bread. Sure the curry powder is going to give it some pop, but it benefits from being lavish with the sodium chloride. Be bold. Taste as you go so you don’t go overboard, but be generous.
Putting it all together:
You take the shells off your eggs (under running water, if you are an accidental shell-leaver-onererer), and put your eggs in a bowl. Mash them with a fork and add about a tablespoon of your mayonnaise. Check the texture – if you like it creamier, add more mayo. Start with a teaspoon of curry powder (you want a hint, not your head blown off), and move on with the salt and pepper. When you’ve nailed the combo, slap it on some bread, and take it all the way to the edges. Let’s go all the way, do-do-do, Rosahhhnnnna!
So now that you’ve been schooled in Excellent Egg Sandwich Construction, you can tell me what your usual style is. I’ve heard some people put celery in theirs. I’m not sure how I feel about this.