Dare I say it? Dare I say things might just be quieting down?
The events of the last two months were hectic, no doubt about that. Poor Slow Home Brooke, I was skyping with her last week about something (OMG TOTALLY FUN I’M SO EXCITED) and for at least the first eight minutes I just unleashed the insanity that was spilling out of my brain. She of all people knows how intentional and mindful I am about my time and my commitments usually, so was suitably sympathetic. Having said that, for a period of intensity, I think I dealt with it pretty well. I was organised and methodical, I knew it was for a short time (not a good time, haha) so put myself in that mindset just to stay on top of everything. I also had phone reminders out the wazoo.
I just finished reading ‘Salem’s Lot (can you believe I’ve never read it before? I’ve read just about everything else from that era) and the main character, after being hypervigilant for so long, started showing the early signs of battle fatigue. And while I’d never compare my 2017 beginnings to anywhere near that, I did recognise that even though I had a full grasp of what I was doing in the ridiculous pace I was doing it, my body started sending me warning signals that shit was going on too long.
My final hurdle was Biggie’s birthday party on Sunday night, and I had promised her one of those crazy 6-layer rainbow cakes, which I delivered. The party was fun, it was simple and relaxing, and when all was tidied up I had a nice foot soak at about 7pm and proceeded to accidentally fall asleep sideways on the couch, feet still in the water. This old mare could stand no more.
Monday morning this week, I was determined to go slow. If we were late to school, so be it. Porridge for breakfast (not the instant kind), no urging everyone to get dressed JUST A LITTLE BIT FASTER, COME ON!, no nothing. Even though we got up late, I still managed to get everyone to school and kindergarten on time, without rushing. Yeah I don’t know how it happened either, but it was just the start I needed.
When I got home, I put the kettle on, started a load of washing, and baked a banana cake. It was so soothing. I didn’t launch straight into my workload, I just pottered a bit and enjoyed the space. I wrote a lonnnnnnnnnng to-do list (two and a half foolscap pages, anyone?) and rearranged it in order of priority. I did one thing at a time. I felt like I was finally getting back to normal, finally back in my usual headspace that shuns breakneck speed.
I am actually finishing up as editor of ProBlogger on Friday, where I’ve been for three and a half years. I like change, and I like new beginnings, even if they do come from endings. I don’t know what my new normal will be when I finally hang up my hat, but I’m looking forward to finding out.