From the couch

How great is that light? Definitely not the kind of light we had today, as it was yet another day in a run of days that is cloudy and grey one minute and sunny for approx. 7 seconds the next before going back to cloudy and grey again.

I am on the couch because I went out yesterday and had a glass of wine at 2pm before repeating that glass of wine again and again at a Brunswick bar before rolling a beatbox kitchen burger at about 9pm. I then dragged myself home whereupon I was called to sleep in everyone else’s bed but my own from the minute my head hit the pillow. I felt like I was banging about like a pinball all night chasing the “muuuum”s before finally falling asleep myself at about 4am.

I woke, disoriented and smelling like an ashtray about four hours later. The wine a distant memory but my smoky hair and my lack of sleep extremely distinct. I haven’t sat in a smoking section in about a hundred years and when I woke I was immediately transported to every Sunday morning circa 2001. Waking up smelling like that but without a hangover is an entirely new experience, let me tell you! I didn’t quite know what to do with myself.

I washed my hair thoroughly, but that smoke shit is still in there. deeep down in the pores of my hair. There forever, probably.

I’ve done a thousand loads of washing to make use of the time the sun does show itself, and most of that has been sheets. Flannelette ones went on the girls’ beds this week, so all the others have to be washed and put away.

Oh and did I mention our dryer shit itself? This will be an interesting winter, that’s for sure.

Also did I mention I made tres leches cake for my birthday the other week? Oh but I did. And it was epic.

I tell ya, 39 is looking pretty good. It looks like kids who sit quietly and eat nicely in restaurants and play dominoes in pubs and basically just entertain themselves while the adults do adult things. It looks like eating cake in bed and listening to Agatha Christie audiobooks when I can’t sleep and really just more of the things I like to do except I’m doing them with more wrinkles.

What a privilege it is to live to 39. To be happy and healthy. Jesus, what luck.

I even learned to make tempeh taste good.

Kids can pack their own toys away.

Autumn seems to get more spectacular every year. I acclimatise to the cold weather better. I say no more easily. I care less about the things that would have upset a younger me. I get more cats.

honestly, this growing old thing’s just the best.