While I’m not sold on labelling kids, the truth of the matter is, my kid is not an enthusiastic eater. Ever since that day when she was 13 months old and refused her lunch, she has been wary of new food. For the longest time, she point-blank refused to eat anything except peanut butter sandwiches, fruit, yogurt, and weetbix.
I kept trying new foods, unceremoniously taking them away if met with resistance. Dying of excitement but being all Fonzie-cool about it on the surface if she actually ate something different. I was very zen about it, knowing she would one day grow out of it, or at least be old enough to reason with. I also introduced veggies into daily play and stories to get her familiar with them.
I think there was a mourning period (or at least a severely confused one) when she stopped eating. I really, honestly had provided a huge variety of food, like we’re told to do, in the interests of raising a healthy, adventurous eater. I did everything you’re supposed to do to foster an environment of plenty. And in the end, kids will do what kids will do even if you have done the best you can.
So about a year ago, after a full year of Sandwich City, she branched out and tried a boiled egg. Then it was spaghetti. Then a piece of cheese. Then a slice of homemade pizza.
Slowly but surely, we broke out of that rut. And while I wouldn’t say she eats any and all food without a backward glance, there have been times when we can chat about it and she’ll try it, she’s interested in an incentive at the end of the meal and she’ll try the new thing on her plate, or repeated exposure at day care has meant she asks for it at home.
Everyone I’ve spoken to, and everything I’ve read, points to kids eating weirdly at this age. And she seems happy and healthy and very rarely sick, so I’m not concerned. I have thought about giving her a vitamin, just because I think they’re awesome for everyone who doesn’t get a 100%-perfect diet (UM HELLO, ME!). My nutritionist buddy Katie 180 recommended Healthy Appetite tissue salts, but kids are supposed to have one four times a day and we definitely don’t remember that often! Pepper appears to eat pretty reasonably, and I’m told at day care she’ll chow down two or three bowls of lunch. But she will certainly copy her sister if Abby says no to a dish. Eye rolls from all directions when that happens.
So where are we at? Ohhhh we’ve come so far!
What she will eat no problem:
Peanut butter on rye bread sandwiches
Peanut butter on toast
Vegemite on toast (this is a new one)
Homemade bread and butter (including garlic bread and herb bread)
Boiled eggs and toast soldiers
Homemade margarita pizza (and occasionally a bought slice, but not if there’s “green fings” on it)
Weet Bix
Porridge (this is a new one)
Dry cereal (Cheerios, etc)
Greek yogurt with honey or homemade jam mixed in
Bread sticks (grissini)
Crackers – rice crackers, Jatz-style crackers, water crackers, corn thins
Crackers and cheese (this is new)
Plain corn chips
Plain potato crisps
Toasted cheese sandwiches
Quinoa bites (both these and these)
Plain rice
Veggie sausages
Quorn nuggets
Carrot
Broccoli
Corn
Peas
Cucumber (this is new)
Oven-baked homemade chips/fries
Plain cashews (this is new)
Sultanas
Mandarines
Apples
Pears
Grapes
Oranges
Bananas
Chocolate
Strawberry ice cream
Cake
Strawberry milk
What she will eat with encouragement from us:
Any type of pasta that isn’t spaghetti, but it has to be red
Cheese quesadilla
Zucchini
Cauliflower
Mashed potato
Cherry tomato
Strawberries
Sausage rolls (or at least the pastry!)
No way, no how:
Capsicum
Peaches
Kiwi fruit
Asparagus
Bok choy
Corn on the cob
Pretty much anything on a sandwich that isn’t peanut butter or occasionally vegemite
Any condiment that isn’t ketchup
dips, hommus, etc
Soup of any varitey
Hell, anything in a bowl, really
Rice pudding
Apple crumble
Cauliflower gratin
Stew
Dried apricots
How about you – had any wins lately?
Congratulations for holding in there! I’m not surprised that suddenly, on her own, your daughter’s trying new things. Your approach of continuing to offer new foods, removing them “Fonzie-cool” and zen-like if she doesn’t want to eat them that day is exactly the approach that I teach (and is so frustrating for parents to adopt) to support fussy eaters to try new foods on their own so that they learn the lifeline habit of choosing and enjoying healthy eating.
Kristen Yarker, MSc, RD
kristenyarker.com
Oh thanks for the kind words! It was the approach that felt right. I would hate for food to be a battle, I love it too much 🙂
Ughs, it’s all kids! Bubba Joe refused to any eat anything on toast, would only have MonsterMite on toast… Nutella – I have no idea why he started calling it MonsterMite! But then one day, I gave him a knife, plate & put out a variety of different spreads in cute lil bowls & told him to make his own toast (no nutella was put out). He may spend about 20minutes spreading his friggin toast but at least he now eats honey or jam or even sprinkles Chia seeds on buttered toast (which is actually really yummy!).
Yep, kids who are picky with what they eat seem to be the majority!
Loathe to say you’re doing it “right” because that makes me out to be someone who thinks forcing kids to eat or punishing them for not eating is wrong. Oh hang on, I do think that! ha ha ha. In time… in time… just like you’re witnessing. It all comes together. Providing good examples are set and a variety is offered that is. Yes, yes, you’re doing it right. Lucky Abby and Pepper to have you as their mama.
Oh ps thanks for the shout out. You can crush those tissue salts into a powder and put them in smoothies, on yoghurt or strawberry ice cream BTW.
You’re a genius, is what you are.
She will eat TONS of food!
Lucky they’re not going to be teenage boys – not sure I could afford it!
Awesome news! This might sound weird but I’ve been thinking about you & Abby almost daily at meal times as Blake refuses to eat just about everything I dish up. I’ve read back over your posts a few times, searched your kid recipes & willed myself to be as zen as you about the whole thing. Fingers crossed we get there eventually too 🙂
zen, baby! totally zen x
I would say she eats a lot. My soon to be 3 yr old pretty much only ate jam on toast, milk, banana and toasted cheese sandwiches. I finally stopped giving him a morning bottle of milk which he loved and now he eats pretty much everything. The transformation has been amazing. He is even asking for food and will try lots. I should have done it sooner!! For a food lover like me, it sure is frustrating when your kid isn’t.
I would say she eats a lot too! I’m so happy. After a WHOLE YEAR of nothing but sandwiches, I finally feel like we’ve broken through that crazy phase.
try to decorative veggies . us cutout to shape vegetables and fruit . kid love character
I tried that! But she was too little to care. Nowadays though, she’s more than happy to eat a carrot flower.
It’s stressful on the Mum’s when the kids won’t eat. Glad you found some stuff she finally likes.
At one point I was sure she was never going to eat normally! Thank goodness we’re out of that now 🙂
I have 4 kids who all have appetites like small giants. Seriously. Unfortunately I have the opposite problem and they all have very sophisticated taste. Initially I was proud- but now I feel I’ve made a rod for my own back. If I serve up ‘family friendly’ food (spag bog, risotto) for a couple of nights in a row they politely ask if we can have curry tomorrow night please…or paella…or marinated mushrooms with goats cheese, if you please!
Hah yeah at least mine is not an expensive issue to have! So funny your kids demand gourmet treats. I do too 😉
I think she is doing ok really!
She is now!
My Esther is fussy too! But Magdalene will eat nearly everything I give her. I find Esther eats her biggest meals at breakfast and lunch so it’s incorporating veggies or fresh produce in those meals so at night I will still serve her dinner but not fussed if she won’t eat it. I usually add some fruit and grated cheese to ensure she eats something at night. She loves a cheese toastie but gets angry with me if I try and hide some avocado on it. She will flatly refuse to eat it unless there is just cheese on the bread. I used to feel judged that Esther wouldn’t eat a varied diet but when her sister came along and I offered all varieties of food and ate them I knew it wasn’t me. It was my Esther being fussy! On a weird note Esther loves pickled ginger?! What the freaking heck?!
The second kid makes us really realise lots of the things kids do aren’t a direct reflection of our parenting! I can’t put anything else on sandwiches either. They KNOW EVERYTHING!
I think you have it sooo good! This is a huge issue in my family for my 20month old son. He does not eat entire food groups. These include vegetables and protein. I use to make meals for him and now I don’t. I have been worn down so far that I don’t even bother now. I feel terrable abut it because I love food and I love cooking and cooking good food! My son will only eat peanut butter on sao or corn thin, sultanas, corn on a cob and fruit. Occasionally yoghurt and cheese. Always dry cereal like cherrios and corn puffs. I am considering getting professional help but from who I don’t know. He is healthy and hardly sick. I make protein balls made from nuts and dry fruit and homemade mueslie bars which he will eat but I don’t think there is enough nutrition in his diet. Do you have any advice for me?
Christine I have a 14 year old son who has eaten like that since he was 18 months old. We have seen every kind of professional you can think of , including a hypnotist!!! Over the years I have gone from feeling like the biggest failure to letting it all go. He is rarely sick, he has hit all his milestones over the years, is almost 6 foot tall & is happy as a teenage boy can be. My only advice is to not give up. Keep offering food but don’t let it get you down ( so hard !). Hang in there x
You poor thing, it can be a challenge, huh! I agree, we’ve made such progress and her eating is miles better than what it was. At 20 months, all she would eat was peanut butter sandwiches, yogurt, banana and weetbix. I’m not kidding, that was it. For breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I wrote about it a lot when we were going through it. It wasn’t until she was about two and a half that she even thought about going near a new food. So if your little one is happy and healthy and growing, you can do what I did: remove all expectation about what they “should” eat. Relax. Offer regular food, encourage them to eat it. If they don’t, then take it away without a fuss. Don’t make it a battle, whatever you do. You don’t want to create anxiety around food. Sometimes put a new food on the plate with the food they’re comfortable with. Take it off if they protest. Eventually start giving them the same dinner as you and if they don’t eat it, then they can have some bread and a piece of fruit, but they’re not getting a whole different meal (Abby was a bit older when we did that). Make food fun, sit down to eat with them, model good eating habits, and relaaaaaax. It’s very normal and most kids do grow out of it. Doing all that (and more) is why I have it so good now, and why we’re getting better. If your little one still won’t eat new foods when they’re older, then maybe look at getting help then, if you’re still concerned xx
Stuff that my 4 year old will eat (in addition to most of what you’ve mentioned) includes:
* ravioli (plain, or with just a little melted butter/olive oil/grated cheese, and recently with a tomato/vegie sauce – there’s a supermarket packet one (Latina Fresh?) that has mini-raviolis and no colouring/nasties);
* very recently – gnocchi with tomato/cheese sauce;
* fried egg;
* bacon;
* sausages;
* chicken drumsticks;
* schnitzel (to start with we cut it into fingers);
* lately – any meat cut into little squares and served with toothpicks;
* home made crumbed fish fingers;
* hamburger patties/meatloaf/meatballs;
* cheesy pasta, with or without bacon and peas. I sometimes make this similar to a carbonara sauce, mixing a small egg with grated cheese and a spoonful of plain yoghurt and then stirring through the cooked pasta over very low heat for 30 seconds.
Stuff I wish she would eat – soup of any variety (which irritates me to death, it cuts out so many cheap, healthy options!); pumpkin; potato (although recently she decided she liked “Granny’s cheesy potatoes” – thinly sliced potatoes, layered in a casserole dish, baked in oven, topped with grated cheese for last 10 minutes).
Oh what I wouldn’t give for them to eat soup! We have it at least once a week, and she just won’t go near it. And P will eat soup, but not if her sister isn’t. Gah.
My Dear Boy won’t eat meat generally, altough I crumbed some chicken and steak recently and he ate those (not as much of the steak though). He will eat tofu, though, which I think is a miracle (although I don’t like him to eat very much of it very often). Generally he won’t eat red meat unless it’s chopped up very small and mixed into mashed potato or rice. In fact, he’ll eat pretty much anything mixed in with mashed potato or rice. I never wanted to be a “hider” but I always offer the food that is hidden on the side as well. His go-to veggies are corn (any way it comes), carrot, cucumber and frozen peas (generally still frozen).
Our biggest breakthrough is cheese! He refused to eat cheese until after he turned two. He’d munch on it (and everything really) at daycare but refused it in any form at home. He picked some frozen cheese out of a bowl when we were cooking recently and now asks for cold cheese. He helps me put together toasties for his lunch (with sneaky baby spinach because otherwise he doesn’t eat a leafy green veg) and will munch on extra.
The other win was him devouring a bowl of mulligatawny soup. Amazing. It’s always a bit of a crapshoot when you put something down in front of it and when it pays off – yahoo! It’s awesome.
Yeah how weird is the cheese thing?! I remember taking a picture of her when she was in a high chair with cheese and tomato with crackers. All the cheese and tomato was on the floor, and she was happily eating the crackers. She was such a carb fiend! I don’t mind being a “hider” as long as I’m still offering regular food in its natural state. Not sold on the beans in cakes though, haha
It is so amazing how different kids are…my guy loves soups especially miso, hates tomatoes and refuses to accept ketchup has tomatoes in it, will not even look at broccoli, and will eat as many dried apricots as I allow him!
Yep, so different. And usually regardless of parental instruction!
Thank you so much for being honest about this. My 4yo is fairly unadventurous, but similarly, I feel she is getting what she needs (fruit, dairy, some grains, few veggies, bit of protein!), and I just don’t want food to be an ISSUE between us. BUT so often you are preached to that if you JUST set the right example, blah blah blah, and made to feel it is YOUR fault. This as you sit here and eat your quinoa porridge for breakfast and home made soups for lunch and huge variety of dinners…..and she won’t have a bar of ANY of it! So, again, thanks for the honest discussion!
That drives me nuts. Honestly. I understand what they’re saying, but when you do follow that advice and your kids are still kids anyway, it can be annoying to have it preached to you. So, solidarity sister. Let us eat our soup and roll our eyes at the our kids’ sandwiches together 🙂
I am just hoping that by constantly putting green veges on my kids plate that they will eventually eat it. Lady AB has recently become re-obsessed with avocado after rejecting it for a while. So I hold out hope!