“And since birth I’ve been cursed with this curse to just curse.” – Eminem
And I have kids. Imma supposed to keep the convo clean. But dammit, it’s like the swears are ingrained in my DNA.
Is it my propensity for listening to rap? Probably. Is it my love for foul-mouthed horror novels? I dare say so. It’s probably a whole bunch of influential things that over the years have given me a habit so incredibly hard to break. How do you stop doing something that’s been second nature to you for almost 20 years?
I mean, obviously I don’t swear at my children, or when speaking to them (I love that Eminem said in an interview he doesn’t swear at home around his daughters: “I mean, how would I really sound, as a person, like, walking around my house, you know [saying], ‘Bitch, pick this up.'”), but I swear in daily conversations with everyone – my husband, my family, friends… probably even the postman, depending on the situation! And if Eminem can curb his cursing and I can’t, what does that say about me?
Why do I swear? I don’t know. Mostly because it either enunciates a point in a stronger way, or mostly because a random swear when you’re least expecting it is funny as fuck. Some people don’t agree,and say swearing isn’t humorous at all, but they might be the same people who believe sarcasm is the lowest form of wit – clearly an opinion I don’t hold. It’s also not because my vocabulary is so miniscule that I need to swear because I can’t think of anything else to say. It just is. I just am.
I look at Sharon Osborne, wife of a metal music legend, much-loved mother of three (and grandmother of one), and she’ll bust out f-bombs at a rate of knots, and sounds perfectly elegant and hilarious while she does so. I’m willing to bet that it’s her British accent that helps, but perhaps I can cultivate one by the time I’m her age? So when I’m saying something’s shithouse, it just sounds delightful?
I don’t know. How bad is it anyway? I heard Abby softly repeat a not-to-be repeated word after I dropped something last week, and I realised I’m going to have to try harder to reign it in. But for how long does one do that? When can I bring back the “bitch”? My parents swore, and still do, and I managed to not pick up the habit from them, probably because they read me the riot act about doing it. I thought I was SO grown up when I got to be a teenager and peppered my language with filth, but then I got pretty over it and didn’t really pick it up again until years later. I don’t want my kid to be the one swearing at preschool, mostly because I will be judged by the other mums. My kid would be the one leading them all astray, and that’s not a headache I’d really be interested in.
Do swear jars work? How bad is it for kids to hear incidental swearing? When do we need to stop listening to foul-mouthed music in front of their sensitive little ears?
What’s the fastest way to a British accent?