My life has been one long embarrassing moment. For someone who could barely squeak out two words to strangers, and avoided parties and gatherings all together if I could help it, interacting with my fellow man seemed fraught with fear, nervousness, and just plain embarrassing awkwardness. Books never judged me (although I spent so much time reading and such little time speaking, I still don’t know how to pronounce half the words I read, although I know what they mean and I can use them brilliantly in writing. However, I will think of another word when speaking out loud to avoid … embarrassment, haha), so I made many friends with those instead.
I’ve been racking my brain for one standout, epic fuckup. And I cannot think of one. One of my embarrassing moments that still leaves me mildly cringing is my first kiss, but that’s tomorrow’s topic. I guess my moments have all been the standard garden variety, nothing of real significance. Which I guess is a good thing?
I’m always the person who will say “you too!” to the waiter when tell me to enjoy my meal (I don’t know how to use the “you too” phrase, don’t everybody look at me, I’m a moron), and I’ve definitely been caught in the pool with my boob out, unbeknownst to me. If there’s anything in my path, I will trip on it, usually when someone is watching. I occasionally spit when I talk, I’m more likely than not to have food in my teeth (and occasionally my eyebrows, don’t ask), and am too afraid to use people’s name in conversation because I’m 90% sure I’ve forgotten it.
I spend my life avoiding chat in case I ask an awkward question (how’s the wedding plans? oh my fiance died, the wedding’s off), which makes me appear to be the most aloof human in the world. But the truth is, I’ve just got minimal social communication skills, and the propensity to always say the wrong thing at the wrong time.
Tell me I’m not alone!
Lila Wolff says
October 6, 2013 at 7:01 amI’m horribly socially awkward (as if that’s not obvious). I think that comes from experiences at school which sort of made me retreat into myself. With that and being clumsy, tripping up stairs, dropping my glass in the middle of a room of strangers (not drunk) socialising is really stressful for me.
lambfox says
October 8, 2013 at 1:51 pmI would never have thought you socially awkward. I had a terrible time at school too, such traumatic years!
Lila Wolff says
October 8, 2013 at 5:00 pmThe wonders of the internet! You don’t get to see me hanging back too unsure of whether I should introduce myself or worrying that I’ve said something stupid!
lambfox says
October 8, 2013 at 7:08 pmYes, the internet is great for that! It’s where us socially awkward people get to shine.
Veggie Mama says
October 25, 2013 at 12:33 pmI am SO clumsy. I will be the person that drops a glass at a party. Always.
Lizzy Allan says
October 6, 2013 at 7:29 amDefinitely not alone. xx
Veggie Mama says
October 25, 2013 at 12:33 pmgood to hear 🙂
Hilary says
October 6, 2013 at 7:29 amYes, I do the you too thing as well, also had to double check your name and then decided not to use it just in case. I have a habit of saying how are you too many times (clearly I wasn’t listening when I asked you two seconds ago!) I am loving these 31 day posts. You are so interesting and inspiring. My most embarrassing moment to date (there is still time for further embarrassment is taking a carefully wrapped baby possum to the RSPCA only to have it turn out that I took them a rat.
Veggie Mama says
October 25, 2013 at 12:33 pmhaha I do that name double check too! and then not use it… haha
omg the rat. that is THE FUNNIEST!
Keri Krieger says
October 6, 2013 at 8:11 amHa! Glad I’m not alone on the name forgetting front! I don’t think I’ve ever actually forgotten someone’s name …… Just the fear of it has me calling everyone sweetheart!!
Veggie Mama says
October 25, 2013 at 12:32 pmI never use anyone’s name even if I’m sure I know it!
missandmisters says
October 6, 2013 at 8:50 amHmmm… I also have a smattering of everyday embarrassments culminating in a way of life, with none all that significant. One thing I’ve found, though, is that since getting all naked and messy with childbirth, I am no longer easily embarrassed. Everything thing is a bit *oh whatever, that was kind of funny!*
Veggie Mama says
October 25, 2013 at 12:32 pmhah I think I’d worked through most of my issues before then. or I would have died being in such a compromising position! I’ve never screamed right in people’s faces before…
Lisa Mckenzie says
October 6, 2013 at 11:10 amNo babes you are not alone in this ,people used to think i was a stuck up bitch cause I was so shy when i was younger and that is NOT the case I was just shy and scared to say the wrong thing and peoples names I am crap at that too.I used to read a lot when i was young (still do actually) that i would get into trouble off my Mum,”go outside and play Lisa,Me no thanks I’m reading!
Veggie Mama says
October 25, 2013 at 12:32 pmYes, they thought I was stuck up! I’m so not. I’m just a dork. And i love reading instead of going outside 🙂
Miss Pink says
October 6, 2013 at 11:40 amI too am guilty of all of those embarrassing awkward moments. I think it makes me fascinating personally.
Veggie Mama says
October 25, 2013 at 12:27 pmI think you are fascinating!
Polly says
October 6, 2013 at 2:39 pmI so know what you mean about the words. I’m forever pronouncing them wrong.
Veggie Mama says
October 25, 2013 at 12:31 pmI don’t even dare try!
Reannon Hope says
October 6, 2013 at 4:08 pmI am forever surprised when you tell us how awkward/shy/embarrassed you can be because your writing tells a completely different story !!!
Veggie Mama says
October 25, 2013 at 12:31 pmWell you’re not here staring at me are you?! That makes all the difference in the world!
Awkward! says
October 6, 2013 at 6:29 pmStacey, you’re not alone!! Really enjoying your blog and confessions! I’m pretty socially awkward too – my bosses hired a performance coach/facilitator to help me develop professionally. What does that say about my coping mechanisms!? ha!
Anyway, social situations where I don’t know anyone aren’t exactly my cup of tea, but I thought I’d make a go of it and try to expand my social circles and step out of my comfort zone. I went solo to a cycling race night and was feeling confident until I arrived and was so terrified I ended up sitting by myself to watch the race. I didn’t mingle like I’d expected I would, but one guy must’ve felt sorry for me and so he came and sat next to me the whole night, ha!
Conversationally, I think I was a bit awkward at times, and I’m sure he left that night thinking, ‘Good race. Hmm, she was a bit weird though!’ And I hope I remembered his name! I have a knack of forgetting people’s names WHILE talking to them!
Veggie Mama says
October 25, 2013 at 12:31 pmOh I’ve actually pushed myself to go to something and then turned around and gone home, haha. But the times I have gone outside my comfort zone and just turned up, I’ve been ok. And it helped the next time I had to do it, as I realised it was going to be ok!
ClaireyHewitt says
October 6, 2013 at 8:33 pmI can have many conversations with people and have no idea of their names. My husband knows I am unlikely to introduce him to people I might meet out and start talking too, because I am likely to not remember their names.
Veggie Mama says
October 25, 2013 at 12:30 pmHaha yeah we do something similar. He will introduce himself in the hopes they will say their name and I will be let off the hook!
Michelle Sheriff says
October 8, 2013 at 10:17 amHaha hilarious post! Yes I’m socially awkward too. I’d much rather stay home. Its easier with a baby though. My most embarrassing moment: doing a world war speech in year 4 and referring to the Turkish soldiers as the turkeys… that’s what people from turkey are called right? At least my teacher knew I wrote my speech myself.
Veggie Mama says
October 25, 2013 at 12:30 pmOh my goodness, that is the sweetest thing!
Sitdownmummy.com says
October 8, 2013 at 10:26 amI once said faeces instead of theses. At work. That same year I did a PPT with ‘Pubic Library’ instead of ‘Public Library’. Another time when I was working at a schmancy private girls school in Brisbane as the Librarian, I had a grade 10 student ask me for help locating information on Courtney Love for her English assignment. I was stoked as it was the most interesting reference query EVER. After about half an hour of me introducing her to the world of Hole and Nirvana via the interwebs, I realised she was actually looking for information on Shakespearean ‘courtly love’. Good times. I don’t need anyone to pay me out as I pretty much die of embarrassment off my own accord every day.
Veggie Mama says
October 25, 2013 at 12:29 pmI can’t believe she didn’t say earlier “hold up, who is this ratty bitch? where’s my shakespeare!”. Meanwhile, pubic library, lols. Are you sure it wasn’t an overhead projector?
lambfox says
October 8, 2013 at 1:46 pmOh, I can so, so, so, SO relate to this. I’m sure I come off as a snob to most people but I’m just shy, honest! I used to have crippling social phobia and if anyone even just talked to me I would be bright, bright red like a tomato. It was SO embarrassing. When my first boyfriend (now husband) held my hand for the first time I had a panic attack and couldn’t stop myself from shaking – and I was 23! Oh, the shame.
Veggie Mama says
October 25, 2013 at 12:29 pmOh yes, people used to call me a bitch – but seriously, I was just paralysed with social shitness! I used to stumble over my words, and go oddly quiet… it was so embarrassing and so unnecessary. Nobody knew what to do, including me! That is SO CUTE about your husband boyfriend!
Kelley @ magnetoboldtoo says
October 8, 2013 at 2:34 pmOnce, I was talking to fellow workmates about a colleague who was rather overweight and had a glass eye. Now don’t get me wrong, there is NOTHING WRONG with being overweight and having a glass eye, I was just mentioning the fact that it was a TAD hard to believe that she was dating some Essendon footballer who CONVENIENTLY could never come to any get togethers and they didn’t have one photo together and he was taking some supermodel to the Brownlow. I was only saying what everyone else was thinking.
Problem was everyone else was THINKING it cause she was standing behind me.
She quit a few weeks later.
I like to think it was because they were getting married.
I am such a bitch.
Veggie Mama says
October 25, 2013 at 12:28 pmHAHAAHAHA I am sure I’ve done something similar. I have to have. But not as funny as this!
bessie says
October 8, 2013 at 7:16 pmyou are so not alone, I too am a social retard 🙂
Veggie Mama says
October 25, 2013 at 12:27 pmLet us stick together!
Nay says
October 27, 2013 at 2:19 pmSocial retard/awkward socialist here too – never know what to say in case its the wrong thing or moment too so people often assume I’m rude, just introvert, quiet and always trying not to upset anyone. This one really resonates with me – thankyou!
Veggie Mama says
October 28, 2013 at 1:45 pmI’ve really got to work more on just asking some tame questions, haha