Nine things I just can’t handle

This is what I am doing.

31-days-confessionsOh mah gawd, haven’t things been heavy around here lately? While I’ve made my peace with my past, it’s still interesting to see it laid out like that. Encapsulated into snappy blog posts. It’s almost like they happened to someone else, someone I feel really sorry for. But it doesn’t feel like me.

But with all the soul-searching and lesson-learning, I’m still partial to hating a few things in life. There’s always going to be things that piss me off no end, no matter how zen I am. And the first one?

1. Queue jumpers

No, not the boat people/refugees/asylum seekers. Just your average line cutter-inerers at the shops. You think I didn’t see you just walk over and stand in front of me like that, ignoring the queue the rest of us kind citizens have got going on over here? I can feel your ignorance vibes like if you don’t acknowledge me in any way you can get away with pushing in. For the next three minutes I’m going to hate you with the fire of a thousand suns, because its SO EFFING RUDE, but I’m probably never going to say anything. I do try to rationalise it, like is it really going to ruin my day if this inconsiderate dickhead wants to be served before me? and sometimes I just can’t help it and words come out of my mouth. I once asked a self-confessed queue jumper if they realised they were pushing in and did it on purpose, or do they just not see the line that’s formed? She said she knew, but she was busy. She hated lines. I wanted to shout WE ALL DO YOU IDIOT.

2. Feet on the seats

Aw let’s face it. Feet in general. I’m not good with feet. At uni I would be a pit of boiling rage if someone stuck their sweaty feet on the back of my seat or on the arm rest right next to me. I’m like that guy’s feet are less than 30 centimetres from my face, in what situation is that ever going to be a pleasant experience hey there dude, can you see me glaring at your hairy toes, move those motherfuckers before I slam my book on them for chrissake. Told you I was a pit of boiling rage. Seemed easier than asking them to move their feet.

3. Kitchen washcloths sitting in a pool of their own un-wrung-out grossness

Why would you do that? Just squeeze it and put it somewhere where it’s not going to fester in kitchen sink juice. Ugh.

4. Toilet skidmarks

I don’t want to know you poo.

5. All the search terms that are now going to lead people to my blog because I have “toilet skidmarks” on it.


6. Dirty floors

I could be dying a thousand deaths (or be suffering manic rage because someone put their feet on my seat at uni and then cut in front of me in the lunch line) but I will always sweep my floor. I cannot bear one grain of anything laying around that I can stand on. Dirty feet make me crazy. When it rains for a few days my stupid floors get this weird sweaty wetness and I can’t bear it. I have to wear shoes everywhere and try not to look at it or I’ll go nuts. I hate standing on spilled sugar and if there is anything left on my floor after I’ve just cleaned it I usually need a stiff drink to recover.

7. Bad food

I am devastated if I pay for a meal and it is not good. Food is almost my favourite thing in life and I need for it to be wonderful at all times. Especially if I’ve looked forward to it.

8. Being told what to do

This includes “like!” “share!” “follow me and I’ll follow you!” and even “get your feet off the seat”.

9. Social media oversharers

Including people who post children’s wee/poo/vomit/bleeding head wounds, anybody who posts bleeding anything wounds, attention-seeking vague status updates, and anybody’s sex life details unless they are Louie Knuxx.

I could go on. But I’d rather hear what annoys the hell out of you! Please tell me what gets your goat and let us all vent peacefully together.


  1. Jay - Moodie Foodie says

    Oh my god, we could be sisters. I can’t STAND all of those things. Queue jumpers just get my blood boiling, Feet on the seat is just rude and annoying – I have to sit there! kitchen wash cloths – YUCK, I have to wipe down benches with that you inconsiderate xxxx!!!! Toilet skidmarks – how difficult is it to clean up your own crap? Dirty floors – hate my socks going brown. Bad food – don’t get me started. As for being told what to do, if someone does it I automatically want to do the opposite – I seem to have passed this particular gene onto my youngest. Social media oversharers – urgh, just because you can say/show it, doesn’t mean you should. Have some respect people!
    Like I said, we could be sisters xox

  2. says

    Oh my, that was great, I laughed out loud! Things that get my goat:

    When my husband tells me that something around the house needs doing or gives me shit about the housework. I feel like… No actually I do scream “well do it your bloody self!!” In my most feminist voice.

    People who refuse to merge because they insist on being in front of everyone in the line, so much so, that they will gladly keep driving in the break down lane, and when I try to make eye contact with them to inform them of how ridiculous they are being and they avoid me… Probably cause they know they’re being a douche.

    Robyn xx

  3. The Plumbette says

    I relate to having those same gripes too. But I’ve also done some of these things too…. I’ve shared what blocked sewers and urinals look like not specially to gross everyone out but to prove plumbers are worth their weight in gold. My other gripe is truck drivers driving up your ass when going the speed limit. I have precious cargo in my car too mother truckers.

  4. Breanne Raffoul says

    People chewing in my ear. Go eat that bloody apple 5 meters away from me!!! Not over my god damn shoulder!!!

  5. missandmisters says


    YES, Meh, hangs head in shame, YES, Ew, that’s what is great about eyesight deteriorating with age, yes, yes and yes. Although on that last note, *my* kids poo story was funny, and is thusly exempt.

    Can I also say how much I’m loving ths series? So much. You looking back has me looking back and I feel privileged to be reading such honest, warts-and-all writing.

    Also, I totally get that it feels like someone else you’re writing about. When I look back, it feels like I’m looking back on another life. No, *lives. It feels like so many lifetimes leading to now.

    And people picking scabs makes nauseates me. Just thinking about it… Gah!

  6. Sharon Alger says

    I can’t handle my belly button being touched, either by me or others. I also can’t handle seeing other people touch theirs. It’s a real phobia, too! I looked it up:P

    The other thing that sends me postal is noisy eaters. I’m not a violent person, but hearing slurping and smacking and masticating in general makes me want to throat punch a person.

  7. MotherDownUnder says

    I cannot stand dirty floors either…mine are currently mocking me with their crumbs but I will seek revenge with my vac and mop later today!
    And yes…feet on anything. This especially gets my goat at work where we walk around in the most disgusting filth and then people will go to the tea room and put their feet up! No thank you. I did not want a side of Hep C with my sandwich!
    I also cannot stand people who cannot go with the flow when walking on the sidewalk. Stay left, don’t hold hands and be aware of others around you. And of course it goes without saying that I hate people who block escalators…they aren’t carnival rides…some people want to walk up or down them!

  8. says

    Right now, I’m all about the downstairs neighbours smoking on the balcony when smoking is banned on our entire block. I love 2nd hand smoke while I’m trying to watch trashy tv. I went and coughed in their faces and they still don’t get it.

  9. Nicole Everett says

    I cannot stand chewing gum. Nothing pisses me off more than finding it stuck to the bottom of my shoe or on the walls of my garbage bin under the sink. Why is it that it always misses the bag and ends up there?

    • says

      Haha one particularly assholery commenter told me I ran out of ideas after number two and shouldn’t have been so ambitious. Yes, because without ambition, I too could have a life spent doing nothing but trolling!

  10. Tina Lacy says

    Im with you on the bad food, totally sucks paying good money for something you know you could make better at home!
    I also can’t stand people who can’t merge properly, merge like a zip people nothing makes you special enough to zoom up the side of all the other cars.

  11. Lisa Mckenzie says

    I am with you on all these,I am pretty anal about my house being clean and bad manners don’t get me started on that one and replacing the toilet roll,the handtowel ,leaving beer lids everywhere,need I go on Stacey!

    • says

      Oh god and you’ve got it on there again! I can’t. I can’t look. I’m terrified of eyes. I can’t even read that one World Record year book whatever thingy because of the bulging eyeballs on the cover. Assholes.

  12. Erica @ recycled fashion says

    Oh yes, can’t stand queue jumpers either, but what really gets my goat, is arsehole drivers – ones that tailgate, beep continuously, and cut in when they feel like it, evidently in a rush to get to nowhere….grrrrr

  13. Emma says

    I’m only just catching up on these posts now and I’m really enjoying them.

    Ok. Here we go. Asshole drivers. I’ve been known to swear {a lot} and throw my arms in the air.
    People telling me how I should live my life. Piss off I say, it’s my life, not yours.
    Water on the sink {not in the sink, you know, around the bowl} after you’ve brushed your teeth or washed your hands. Hate.
    People stopping JUST outside shop doors so you can’t walk out and you feel like an asshole just because you’ve had to say ‘excuse me’ to get past. And you’ll almost always get ‘the’ look.

    I’m sure there are many more but I’ll stop there. Thank You for letting me vent!

  14. eman alshazly says

  15. على لاشين says


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