Our wedding was simple, and fun. We had an awesome day, everyone partied, and really, we were more focused on what was to come after, rather than stressing about the what colour the bonbonniere was. We didn’t even have bonbonniere.
Back in the day, we were the first ones to get engaged in our friendship group. And our friendship group was 99.9% male. Early 20s male, so you can basically read that as “PARTY TIME”.
I was mid-20s, with a few failed relationship runs on the board, and ready for a light-hearted good time. So when we got engaged, I was THRILLED, but I also didn’t want to be that girl who suddenly cares about weddings and getting married and that whole thing being important. And to be honest, it’s still not important, the day. I used to joke that as long as we both turned up at the same time and said “I do”, then that’s all I cared about. I had an allergy to all things co-dependent and needy, so I sort of went the other way in my overly casual response to it all.
I had two jobs, went to uni full time, and we couldn’t afford a honeymoon. So my regret about the day is that I didn’t spend enough time thinking about it. Getting excited for it, taking some time off to enjoy it, having a little honeymoon bubble. I didn’t even take the day before off work, I just swapped it for a different day that week. I had an exam two days later. Went to work on the Monday.
Don’t get me wrong, we’re fine. I rarely even think about it – but sometimes I wonder if I should have just wallowed in my bridezilla moment a little more. Got a facial, or some shit. Bored everyone with endless discussion about centrepiece choices and paper grams. Instead of it being a blip on the calendar, I could have milked it for ages, and indulged myself a little bit more. It’s the only time you’re allowed, you know? So now when I see ladies going all out, I’m like “you go girl!”, and then silently thank Little Baby Cheesus that there was no Pinterest when I got married.
Do you have wedding day regret? Someone tell me you had your cake knocked over or something. Please!
Mine, like yours, was fun and casual. We’d only known each other for five minutes so I didn’t want to make a big fuss. So I was definitely not a bridezilla. In the age of pinterest though, I now regret not getting good photos done. I also regret cutting my hair just before. I think I am just getting bridezilla envy as I get older.
I really feel like I could have gotten away with so much more!
My wedding I think was the most simple wedding in history. I didn’t even wear a dress! There were no guests, party, reception, honeymoon, etc. Just us two and that was it. It’s not that we have no friends or family (we do) but we just wanted to make it very reserved and quiet. Once we have more money then maybe we’ll have a big celebration. He knows I’m not a materialistic person, I didn’t even want a ring! But he had very good intentions and I love him for that.
I think it’s nice the way you did it, and I completely understand the whole deal with having to go back to school and work. Unfortunately, I have nothing embarrassing to share. Haha.
vegcourtesy.blogspot.com
That’s really sweet! I was totally materialistic when it came to the rings… but I paid for one myself!
We’ve been married for 21 years now. Faarrrkk!! I don’t even know how that happened – 1993 doesn’t seem that long ago. My wedding was a bit like yours, very low key, not formal and fun!! My only regret (if you can call it that) is that none of our official photographer’s photos worked out. This was in the days before digital cameras – film only. Luckily lots of guests took photos so we have those. Worst photographer ever. She didn’t even apologise.
Oh no! That would be the worst! Surely you didn’t have to pay?
I don’t regret much as mine was back in the UK and all organised from here so I had no getting caught up in the whole thing.. I got to do the dress experience but that was sort of it and I actually wish we had done it here in Aus as I could have been more involved, had our mates there that are still our mates and we too didn’t do a honeymoon (said we would at 10yr anni but we STILL didn’t have enough cash!!.. DTLL came in between)..
No regrets but so much I would change.. oh and my cake nearly didn’t make it.. was flown in from Sydney to London (it was cheaper. to do so than have made in London!!) and my bro had to hang at customs far too long on the day to get it to the reception.
It was cheaper to fly a cake to london than have it made there? YOU HAVE BLOWN MY MIND
Exchange rate, what can I say..
Seriously, that’s nuts. I cannot get my head round it.
I regret not eating the dessert. Everyone said it was the bomb. I was too busy getting around to everyone that it came and went and I didn’t notice.
We were married pre-pinterest days too, and married young (21/22) also, so didn’t (like yourselves) have a host of friends weddings to compare. I loved the day. I loved that I had very few expectations. I love that I married the guy I loved (love). That’s all I really cared (care) about.
In summary: awesome day, more awesome guy, wish I ate the dessert.
Yeah I wish I ate more dinner. I kind of wasn’t hungry? but it was a buffet, and who doesn’t eat a buffet? Idiot.
No one ever regrets the lack of Bridezilla.
I don’t care about everyone else, I care about MY NEEDS!
I was much the same – we just wanted something simple and small, we were more focused on the marriage rather than the wedding. But for the wedding I had Hypermesis Gravidarum and 3 months pregnant. Stopping to puke inbetween vows and rings and the bbq reception we had. I couldn’t even drink man! Ha! Honeymoon out the window. If I could, I would probably change the timing, pushing it back a year until I’d had our bub and was well enough to actually remember the day.
Oh no! vomit on your wedding? WORST.
I loved my wedding day!
The only thing I regret about it (and I suppose it’s a fairly big one!) was my choice of bridesmaids. I had my husbands sister which was fine, she’s a bit disorganised (like the anti-me!) but it worked out okay.
My other bridesmaid was my so called ‘best friend’ who hasn’t spoken to me since my wedding day because the day was all about me and my husband and I didn’t mention her in my speech!! I hate that she is in all our photos and that day was the last time we spoke.
She was a terrible bridesmaid in the lead up to the day and was totally disengaged and then wrote me a 6 page passive aggressive letter on my birthday almost a year after the wedding telling me all the ways I had let her down and wasn’t a good friend to her.
Honestly, life’s too freaking short for that shit.
If I had my time over I would have picked a different friend, and my cousin, as well as my SIL. Oh well.
YIKES! she sounds like a bad choice….
Such a timely article – I’m the maid of honour for my best mate next year (fourth in time in a bridal party… It’s Type A peronsonality thing) and she’s in a similar situtaion. Works really hard, can’t afford anything major so I’m trying to not get too excited and make it a big deal but no funds doesn’t have to mean low key!
hell no, we partied like it was 1999!
Oh boy, do I have regrets!! The biggest one being that we didn’t freaking elope like we wanted to. Cue claims of fake emphysema in order to get people on the invite list (yes, you can’t make this shit up), a junkie groomsman who nearly forgot the suits due to securing a drug deal before heading to our wedding, then nearly died falling from the roof of our penthouse. Mum refused to walk me down the aisle too, the list goes onnnnnnnn. But in saying that, ours was totally chilled, like yours was. We didn’t have speeches, cutting of the cake, none of it. Just a kick ass swing band and a big party. I’d handed my doctoral thesis in 2 days before (nothing like a wedding to make you get your work done), so again as you did, I didn’t take any real time off either. Just chugged on. Bridezilla is overrated. Sounds like you did it your way, and did it awesomely. x
Amen!
Our priest forgot to say “you may now kiss the bride”. Seriously! Full story on my blog at http://www.middleagedmama.com.au/wedding-day-disaster/ 😉
Ours did too! How funny!
wow, how do they forget that?!!!
The cake lady took it upon herself to change my whole because she thought the weather might affect it. WTF!!! It was ugly!
that is hilarious!
My husband’s family is Croatian and so we had a Croatian tradition where instead of placing your money in a ‘wishing well’ you place it in a basket that the maid of honour is holding and that ‘pays’ for a dance with the bride {whilst the husband gets to stand at the bar drinking}. We had 270 guests at our wedding so my only regret is that I didn’t put my thongs on for this part of the wedding. I was dancing for about 2 hours without sitting down…my brother-inlaw even came up to me and said ‘here is a tip – less talking, more money taking’. Our wedding went until 4am in the morning and I felt like we really got our money’s worth!
Oh my lord, that’s quite the effort! I hope they paid you handsomely, haha x
See this is where being accidentally engaged for nine years is like GENIUS. The wedding I am planning for next year is so different to what I would have had back then. Obviously, trends change and that’s part of it but also, I’ve changed and that will factor hugely in what I decide I want for the day. But the coolest thing is definitely that I can PINTEREST my arse off for 12 months in preparation. Don’t know how people held events before. I mean, really!
You were a stunning bride. Cantastic, too, which I appreciate. I might have been a boobie bride, too, but 3 x babies have depleted the goods somewhat….
If I put that dress on today, it would fall right off.
I still think we’d have the same wedding now as we did then, but we totally would have invited different people. More people.
Probably the same kind of regrets that you have – that I didn’t make a big enough deal about it.
We had been together six years already – had a kid – Andy’s very beloved Dad had recently passed away. A big wedding felt weird and we didn’t know how to go about it – knowing when all the family got together it would be upsetting for them.
We had an engagement party at the local and very daggy bowlo. Halfway through the night we busted out a celebrant and did it then and there. Nobody knew. We didn’t tell a soul, so afterwards the party WENT OFF!
It was hilarious – everyone went proper nutso.
Our celebrant forgot to do the ‘kiss the bride’ thing. That kind of sucked – but pashing in front of my dad would have been awks anyway. It may have been because I was ‘hurry-the-fuck-up-mole- staring at her. I dislike being up in front of a crowd – I had some funky anxiety-induced sweat moustache going on. Maybe another good reason to miss the pash.
I loved the night, I love how our friends reacted, but maybe I could have tried a little bit harder for nostalgia sake.
Oh what a great story! And if it helps, our reception was at the RSL, haha. It was fancy in their special ballroom, but still… RSL. I hate being in front of a crowd too, my eyes involuntarily closed as I walked down the aisle as I couldn’t handle everyone looking at me! I only managed to open them right at the end. I have NO idea what people must have thought!
We didn’t eat the cake! Everyone else told me how great our cake was and Jacob and I didn’t taste it.
Ha we were both wandering around and happened to pass each other at the cake table. I stopped, made us eat one bite each, and carried on our way 🙂
Mine is sort of the opposite of a regret. I wasn’t going to wear a veil but my sister brought hers in the hope of convincing me to wear it. I did end up in the veil at the last minute due to a truly awful hair fail. As she pointed out, it’s the one day of your life you can wear a veil and get away with it, and even though I resisted at the time, I’m now so glad I did.
Hahah she’s so right! I never even thought of that.
We had a really low key wedding at the registry office so I regret not being a proper bride. My stubborn 24 year old self pulled the pin on what I think would have a been a really great day because our families were driving us bonkers when we started planning. I also have no idea where our photos are after we moved overseas which makes me a bit sad. 13 years on though we’re still going strong so that’s all that matters I guess! x
I actually think I would have regretted not having a full shindig and going the whole shebang. It was so much fun. But yeah… families!
I regret not taking the leftovers back to the hotel, I thought I was full, took the wedding dress off and was starving because the corset stuff wasn’t compressing me anymore!
Oh and I regret the choice of hotel, idiots carrying on running up and down the halls and then telling the hotel staff they were from our room.
haha that’s terrible! I hate loud hotels. I hate also being hungry, so you have all my sympathies today x
My bouquet fell off its holder when we got to the venue! I’m just grateful it didn’t happen halfway down the aisle! Anyway, I asked the wedding planner to put it somewhere and then borrowed one of my bridesmaid bouquets. So in the pics, none of my maids have bouquets and they all look a bit awkward with their hands. It just gets on my nerves a bit when I look at the pics, even 5 years later. But the rest of the wedding was great and so is the marriage so I shouldn’t really give a shit about it. But I just do.
yep, I feel ya. It’s the little things, sometimes x
We technically eloped, but my regret isn’t that but probably the choice of one of our witnesses who was a casual friend rather than someone I completely loved and wanted to share that moment with. I wish we could have worked it to have a closer friend there but we were married on a Friday and it just worked out that way.
eloped! to where?
To the park. It was a very nice park 🙂 http://lilybettandboy.blogspot.com.au/2013/05/elopement-in-park-returning-to-scene-of.html
aw, sweet!
I milked that time for all it was worth! You’re right – it’s the only time in a girl’s life when she can go crazy with bridal mags and beauty appointments and no one can say a damn thing about it. I loved that time, it was so incredibly special. But would I go back and do it all again? Hell no! I’m happy right here, right now (being married and not having to plan a wedding).
Oh lord I don’t care about facials to go back and do it again. How good is not having to worry about Pinterest ANYTHING?!!! You would have been the legit hottest bride. You MUST show me a picture!
I wouldn’t change anything about the actual wedding, but I never got around to sending thank yous (unforgivable), and I don’t think I properly thanked family and friends who helped us. I’d love to re-do that bit!
Ooh yes, I think I would fall into that camp also!