Straight out the gate, we must a) apologise for the radio silence (we were both out of the country – more on that later!) and b) celebrate little bebeh Louis! What a (hefty) cutie he is and how stoked Our Cath must be that he’s finally out. Nothing like those lonnnnnnng last days where you’re as big as a whale and just want to be done already please and thank you.
Can we please discuss, however, Our Beth at the doors of the Lindo Wing? The doors we both watched a live stream of for a very long time on the day of the birth? Our Beth! THE doors! She had a little moment on those steps, and I tell ya, I did watching her.
I also had a moment reading all her blog posts from the trip, and her very first one full of images of the London springtime just about had me undone. More shots here, too. And here. God.
Also in Kate news, we have seen her out and about this week at the Houghton Horse Trials carrying a tote from none other than fellow Melbourne lass Rebecca Starkins at Little Makes Big. Cath was also seen taking the baby for a walk with Charlotte around Kensington Park Gardens prior to the wedding, and we speculate on how Beth would have reacted had she crossed paths. I am writing her eulogy as we speak.
We also discuss the possibility Pippa might be pregnant (the media certainly brings it up at every opportunity) and while photographed in France there was no sign of a baby bump. I am of the opinion if she is pregnant, we wouldn’t see evidence of that until she’s about to pop – if anyone in the world is gonna have washboard abs, it’s young Pippa Matthews. Like, for real, her exercise regime is no joke (she even toned it down for the rest of us here and I still can’t do it!).
Let’s just scroll back in time and have a look at what she’s trained for and accomplished over the last couple of years, shall we?
- Completed the 54km Birkebeiner cross-country ski race in Norway
- Ran the 26.2-mile Safaricom Marathon in Kenya, one of the toughest in the world, finishing in 3:56:33
- Casually went on a 3000-mile bike ride across the United States
- Rode 54 miles from London to Brighton to raise awareness for the British Heart Foundation
- Finished a marathon on the Great Wall of China – 5,164 steps and a brutal 820-foot climb at mile 22 – in 4:54:51.
- Completed the Otillo Swimru World Championship in Sweden, finishing the 47-mile course which involves running over rough terrain and swimming through the choppy Baltic Sea in 13 hours, 4 minutes and 24 seconds
- Climbed the fucking Matterhorn, the 14,692ft Switzerland peak which has claimed the lives of more than 500 climbers, including that of her brother-in-law, Michael Matthews. And she did it all before 7.30 in the morning.
And yet the Daily Mail kept papping pics of her at the gym telling all and sundry she was “getting in shape for the wedding” prior to her May celebration last year. Mate, she was wedding-ready before she even woke up that day.
I’m tired from just thinking about what she gets up to, and our poor William was tired post-baby too, where the cameras picked up his valiant efforts to stay awake during the long ANZAC service at Westminster Abbey just days after the birth. I cannot even watch that video, my heart goes out to him so much! WE’VE BEEN THERE, MY FRIEND.
It was also recently Children’s Hospice Week and Our Cath penned a letter in support of it this year. Previously she’s done outreach videos and things to help highlight the amazing work they do for families of children with life-limiting conditions.
Also how’s this Chris Jackson portrait? That’s a happy lass.
OK now to the wedding of the hour! Beth helpfully went on a recce to Windsor on the last day St George’s was open to the general public and you should SEE what she got to get up close and personal with! And she met Terry, the fellow in the Union Jack suit that camps out at every royal event. They’re best mates now.
I geared up for the wedding by commandeering four actual whole screens with which to follow along, fuelled by Treacle Tart, Violet Bakery Rye Chocolate Brownies, and Eton Mess, wedding tiara on head, and a whole bottle of champagne to myself. What glory!
Speaking of tiara, I correctly identified Meghan was wearing Queen Mary’s UK Filigree tiara before it was officially announced and if I never get anything else right in my entire life, it matters not. I have hit the jackpot anyway.
I was also informed I beat the media to the tiara identification and I can now retire top of my game.
It was, however, a run of expert guesses when I also figured Cath had done a little wardrobe-diving for her outfit.
In the podcast, Beth and I also discuss The Hair, The Dress, and THE MARKLE DEBACLE. Holy hell, what a shitshow that was.
We topped it off with our favourite bits: aka the cello player/the preacher/Zara’s facials.
This article from the New York Times summed the whole shebang up perfectly, full of witty observations I won’t soon forget. “Zara Phillips, who is pregnant, lay back in shock, arms flung wide, like a welterweight sprawled on his corner stool at the end of Round Nine, still not sure what hit him” – a more perfect description of her reaction could never be written. Her face was the absolute highlight for me.
Other highlights included Amal Clooney’s outfit, and Vicky Beckham never smiling, which I think is fabulous. She’s a funny bugger, and knows she’s got an image to uphold. Behold:
Also: Get yourselves to Gary Janetti on Instagram.
So this is where we’ll leave you until next time! Much more to discuss, including how we will stalk our mate Chris Jackson when the royalz are over for the Invictus Games. She’s gonna be a doozy.
But for now, listen up here or on your favourite podcast app, nothing like a double episode to get you through your first day of winter!
Find the official Throne Rangers Podcast show page here, where all episodes and show notes will be linked. Do please subscribe and leave a rating/review if you find it to your liking, and share it with your friends!