The thing that really gets my goat

My poor goat. It gets got a lot. I’m a pretty zen person usually, and don’t tend to get overly caught up about stuff, but some people are just real dickheads, you know?

I mean, accounting for circumstances that made them that way (poor childhood, they were out of Weeties that morning, whatever), there are people that genuinely enjoy pissing other people off, and wield their assholery like a light sabre. These are the people that really get my goat. Whatever their reason, whatever their motivation, the end result is the same – they have purposely upset someone because they like it. They’re proud of their narrow-minded stance on whatever issue instead of hearing both sides fairly and equally and then having a rational conversation about it.

People I firmly place in this category include:

Chauvinist pigs. The ones who enjoy infuriating women because they’re women. The man is the boss and women are pathetic. And they’ll tell you that. And enjoy you getting all worked up and emotional.

Racist pricks. Not just the outright “fuck off we’re full” douchesuitcases, but even the mildly racist ones who don’t think they’re racist but say stupid shit like “I don’t like Asians but I like spring rolls”, and have a go at you for being “oversensitive” if you say their casual racist remark about hating Asians isn’t actually funny.

Homophobes. You all sound like complete asshats.

Let’s just pause here to let my blood pressure go back down. Hang on.

Food Nazis. So I don’t eat meat, it’s not affecting you. Pipe down. This lovely engagement party we’re at is not the time to lecture me on my eating habits by insisting that I’m wrong and ill-informed, getting all offended and huffy at me. I don’t hassle you about your baseless paleo-sugar-free shit, so let me eat my lentil burger in peace.

Political nutbags. Opposing just to oppose. Reading mainstream media and then forming an opinion on half-truths and whatever their friends say. Not giving credit where credit is due, just painting everyone with the same brush and essentially saying that if they’re not your party then they’re a pile of shit. Very much included in this are all the bogans who said Jullia Gillard should be kicked in the vagina. I can’t even begin to start to comprehend this. My brain shuts down from the complete misdirected hate and fury and I go count buttons and pat cats.

So I guess what I’m saying is ignorant twats who enjoy being ignorant in whatever sphere. And then spread that ignorance around with arrogance. Y’all can bite me!