Today I am in a cocoon of replenishment after a whirlwind four-day ProBlogger conference extravaganza. It feels remarkably like the fallout from four days of tequila shots and cold pizza, only without the tequila shots and cold pizza. I am tired, yo. Tired and dehydrated. Just like my early 20s, but more boring!
The conference itself was amazing. I learned so much, I chatted so much, I stalked Tsh Oxenreider so much. The day before and the day after the conference I spent on a ProBlogger Popup event – the Thursday at Gwinganna lifestyle retreat, where I wanted to eat ground almonds and avocado smoothies, and the Sunday at Sea World, where I wanted to eat the deepest of deep-fried chips and tartare sauce.
The tips I’m taking away from the ProBlogger conference deserve their own post, so that will come later. But just as valuable as the things I learned TO do, are the things I learned NOT to do. You need to be on your A-game at this one, it’s loaded with information and inspiration, and you want to make the most of it. So heed my mistakes, folks. Or laugh at them, whatever!
1. Get more than four hours’ broken sleep.
Oh this is a fun one, innit? And I didn’t even party at the associated parties, although I did get a kebab before tottering home in my heels. I fell asleep past midnight after resettling the baby, tossing and turning restlessly until 4am, when she woke again. When I finally drifted off, her sister woke up and shouted for her Oscar Wilde doll. Then that woke the baby, who was ready for the day to begin. I looked at the clock and saw it was 5.30am. This is what dying feels like.
For the rest of the day my eyes felt like I’d washed them with sandpaper, the conference coffee just barely kept me conscious, and I couldn’t get a word straight. I also zoned out in a couple of sessions, right when someone made an important point. Thank goodness for twitter and those tweeting the salient information, or I’d never remember.
2. Keep your feet out of your mouth.
If, like me, you tend to say stupid shit and then burn in the seventh circle of your own embarrassed hell all day, then I don’t recommend saying anything ridiculous to anyone. This may mean you actually don’t speak a word to a soul (except the coffee guy), but at least you won’t look like an idiot! I was so excited to meet Tsh, only to make a total fool of myself. I met a LOT of nutritionists while stuffing my face with pizza, and I pissed off a paleo (this one I can deal with). I forgot people’s names thirty seconds after I was told them (see tip one), and I spent half my life avoiding being in the elevator with other people.
3. Don’t forget a sweater.
Conferences are cold, dammit, and the little shrug you accidentally brought thinking it was your long-sleeved black cardigan will not cut it. Goose pimples don’t even look good on geese.
4. Drink more water.
It’ll stop you looking like a desiccated prune. It might also help keep you awake, and counteract the sleep deprivation. It won’t stop you saying anything stupid or shivering like a goat, but I hear it’s good for you anyway.
5. Don’t be shy.
You will KICK yourself later (because that’s totally physically possible) for missing people you wish you’d talked to. I tried to get around to everybody this year, and left my insecurities at home (probably why I had diarrhea of the mouth), and I’m so glad I did. I totally made new friends and had a ball catching up with old ones. I still didn’t manage to make it to all the people I wanted to see, but there was only one of me and 450 of them. But don’t be so meek that you don’t go up to anybody, or you will regret it.
I had the best fun, but damn do I need a cup of tea and a bit of a lie down. And when I do, I will be dreaming of the buffet breakfast at the QT hotel… especially the mushrooms. And possibly the jam donuts.
Did you go? What did you learn? Did you sound like a dehydrated, sleep-deprived goat too?