Today I am in a cocoon of replenishment after a whirlwind four-day ProBlogger conference extravaganza. It feels remarkably like the fallout from four days of tequila shots and cold pizza, only without the tequila shots and cold pizza. I am tired, yo. Tired and dehydrated. Just like my early 20s, but more boring!
The conference itself was amazing. I learned so much, I chatted so much, I stalked Tsh Oxenreider so much. The day before and the day after the conference I spent on a ProBlogger Popup event – the Thursday at Gwinganna lifestyle retreat, where I wanted to eat ground almonds and avocado smoothies, and the Sunday at Sea World, where I wanted to eat the deepest of deep-fried chips and tartare sauce.
The tips I’m taking away from the ProBlogger conference deserve their own post, so that will come later. But just as valuable as the things I learned TO do, are the things I learned NOT to do. You need to be on your A-game at this one, it’s loaded with information and inspiration, and you want to make the most of it. So heed my mistakes, folks. Or laugh at them, whatever!
1. Get more than four hours’ broken sleep.
Oh this is a fun one, innit? And I didn’t even party at the associated parties, although I did get a kebab before tottering home in my heels. I fell asleep past midnight after resettling the baby, tossing and turning restlessly until 4am, when she woke again. When I finally drifted off, her sister woke up and shouted for her Oscar Wilde doll. Then that woke the baby, who was ready for the day to begin. I looked at the clock and saw it was 5.30am. This is what dying feels like.
For the rest of the day my eyes felt like I’d washed them with sandpaper, the conference coffee just barely kept me conscious, and I couldn’t get a word straight. I also zoned out in a couple of sessions, right when someone made an important point. Thank goodness for twitter and those tweeting the salient information, or I’d never remember.
2. Keep your feet out of your mouth.
If, like me, you tend to say stupid shit and then burn in the seventh circle of your own embarrassed hell all day, then I don’t recommend saying anything ridiculous to anyone. This may mean you actually don’t speak a word to a soul (except the coffee guy), but at least you won’t look like an idiot! I was so excited to meet Tsh, only to make a total fool of myself. I met a LOT of nutritionists while stuffing my face with pizza, and I pissed off a paleo (this one I can deal with). I forgot people’s names thirty seconds after I was told them (see tip one), and I spent half my life avoiding being in the elevator with other people.
3. Don’t forget a sweater.
Conferences are cold, dammit, and the little shrug you accidentally brought thinking it was your long-sleeved black cardigan will not cut it. Goose pimples don’t even look good on geese.
4. Drink more water.
It’ll stop you looking like a desiccated prune. It might also help keep you awake, and counteract the sleep deprivation. It won’t stop you saying anything stupid or shivering like a goat, but I hear it’s good for you anyway.
5. Don’t be shy.
You will KICK yourself later (because that’s totally physically possible) for missing people you wish you’d talked to. I tried to get around to everybody this year, and left my insecurities at home (probably why I had diarrhea of the mouth), and I’m so glad I did. I totally made new friends and had a ball catching up with old ones. I still didn’t manage to make it to all the people I wanted to see, but there was only one of me and 450 of them. But don’t be so meek that you don’t go up to anybody, or you will regret it.
I had the best fun, but damn do I need a cup of tea and a bit of a lie down. And when I do, I will be dreaming of the buffet breakfast at the QT hotel… especially the mushrooms. And possibly the jam donuts.
Did you go? What did you learn? Did you sound like a dehydrated, sleep-deprived goat too?
I can’t believe you had shy moments about approaching people! You don’t at all come across that way.
YES to the conference rooms being cold, brrr, I remembered this from Digi Parents which is why I packed a long cardi and a scarf.
I wish there was dedicated time out time in the schedule, but I guess this is called “tea” and “lunch” and “party” – !
There’s so much mingling one wants to do and it gets all tangled up in the paying attention and learning 😉
I totally went right up to Clare Bowditch and hugged her, then I sang to her like Scarlett does, to demonstrate how much Scarlett loves her song “you make me happy”, I sang BADLY to Clare Bowditch. Shy much? Erm, no.
Katie I was so thrilled to see you on stage for a 5 minute interview with Darren, but I didn’t see you other than that. Hope we manage to catch up one day.
There was just NOT enough time! We all need an away weekend together!
Yes! We’ll call it YoBlogger & the theme can be ‘hanging out & chatting.’ No SEO or marketing tricks to learn 🙂
I was thrilled to be up there, what a TRIP~! I am so bummed that I hardly met or saw or even spoke to anyone. I skulked off for a nap at about 3pm and made it back for Clare Bowditch then I had to hot foot it back to the air port. Next year I will place priority on properly connecting. x
I snuck off for a little nap during lunch, and missed the entire afternoon line up! Woke after 5pm – wow. Sleep is brilliant.
shut upppp I need sleep so bad!
That’s a bit CUTE. You are such a gem, lady! x
Katie, your “my voice wasn’t lost” comment was golden. Was great to catch up (even it if was briefly). Hope you got to put your feet up when you got home. x
Erm, I came home and fell into a fatigue laced solo parenting of the high maintenance toddler whilst my husbro worked. Tears, there were tears! x
Haha I’m so glad you say that, I am getting so much better at faking confidence! And small talk, who woulda thought I could actually navigate that without fainting or spilling my tea all over my shoes. I was pretty psyched to see the morning and afternoon teas were half an hour other conferences usually have 15 minutes and I can’t eat enough cheese in that time.
Brilliant post!!!! New to blogging so a conference is way off in my dreams, but so good and so funny to read your insight.. Been following your blog a while now love your humorous honesty and of course your delish vegie recipes.
Oh now that’s the way to make a gal blush! I love writing here so it’s a thrill when other people like it too 🙂
I can’t believe we didn’t catch up, apart from a wave at breakfast. I found it hard to walk up to complete strangers and I was so damn tired all the time. I think those comfy beds just made me so relaxed and want to sleep the whole time.
those comfy beds, heaven!
I know, I kept seeing you fleetingly, but you were always so far away. Now lets talk about those BEDS. and those PILLOWS. Holy shit – dare I say the best I’ve ever slept in?
I didn’t go, ’cause I don’t blog (but I might again soon) and I hate people. I always look at the Twitter feed and feel a bit jealous about all the cool people hanging out together and then I remember that I’d rather chew my arm off than socialise and I’m OK. I think your list could quite aptly apply to life in general though. It’s good advice to live by.
I love you. I resisted that arm-chewing urge… normally I either want to stab either myself or everyone else in the eye. I think maybe I’m getting soft…
oh dear I was the shy one, I became a wallflower. And the say stupid shit one; when bumping into three favourite bloggers at SpaQ. And dammit I kept seeing you and kept thinking, she doesn’t want me bugging her – I need to share a cup of tea with you. Next year.
I WANT YOU TO BUG ME. I will wear a sign saying that next year. Or a big arrow to my head “Louisa, over here!”
I think I went did enough of the partying for both of us … because I feel like I have small children again x
Haha I hope you had a great anniversary!
Loved catching up with you and Amy thought you were adorable! I liked the GF pizza too. A little too much, but I managed to avoid the food coma afternoon teas both days. Icecream was not negotiable. Icecream truck in a conference? Winning. Glad you had fun! I couldn’t leave on Monday morning – we had an awesome day in Byron on Sunday and I didn’t want it to end! x
Oh I thought Amy was the bomb! So nice of you to introduce me. And so rad to finally meet you! And thank you for all your tips I use pretty much every day, haha. Those pictures from Byron looked amazing.
Oh Awesome! Yes she is lots of fun and I knew you would get along great! …..and Byron was spectacular! She had a great day. Catch up soon!
Yes, yes I do. Thanks for asking. I think I may be captain goat. Love this post.
And if you want photographic proof of your teetering heels, I have a fab {sort of stalker’ish, I was aiming for atmospheric I promise} photo of you from the party. You’re positively regal. Blurry and with a lot of low light noise, but regal none the less. 😉
Haha I love your photographer’s eye. I bet I just look tired and pruny x
I loved hanging out with you! Hurry up and move to Melbs! xx
Duuuuude I am so there. I think I might start packing 🙂
Seems you and I made the same mistakes! I didn’t pack a cardi either – I shivered for two whole days…. Maybe that is why I am so tired? Or is that just my battered brains way of processing all that I have learnt??
I kept meaning to talk to you at Problogger – but I got the shies… Next time – I might just crash tackle you to the ground!
Love this post…. mind if I share it??
I shall wear a helmet in readiness! And share away 🙂
I wished I had talked to more people…the combination of being a bit shy, afraid of being totally awkward and slightly hungover and therefore perfectly content just to sit by myself was not a good one! Next time!
And can we please talk about those jam donuts?
Haha I have made that mistake before and lived to regret it. But you got to meet Beth! I was so excited for you 🙂
I was excited for me too!
I had such a FAB time, but I’ve need a bit of TLC to recover. My room mate likened me to a corpse on Saturday morning, and she was correct. On Sunday I recovered sufficiently to eat my weight in the most amazing food then do a bar course, so that might have added to my recovery time…..it was so great to catch up with you, you didn’t look or act like a foot in mouth goat at all.
xx
Thank you. perhaps I was distracting people from my goat-like state with my fabulous Hair-Romanced hair?
I am sick with envy. I look forward to sharing many awkward moments with famous bloggers at next year’s conference!
Oh the funny stories you will then be able to relay! I will see you there 🙂
Ah, the mushrooms on the buffet breakfast were SO good!
I miss them like a limb.
I’m with you on 2 & 3. I kept calling people by the wrong names (oops) and yup, need to bring a jacket next time!
Haha I avoid names where at all possible! I’m just so useless with them. Next time I will double-check the sweater situation 🙂
I love your tips! I’ve never got a cardi when I need one. I didn’t go but I’m keen to go next year so I think these wise words will come in very handy.
Oh yes do go, and then we can meet!
I did not go but I do look & sound like a dehydrated, sleep deprived goat. We can be twins!
Yeah to be honest, it IS my natural state!
Was I the Paleo person? Its okay, I’m not really. You didn’t offend me, not even slightly. I thought the conversation was amusing.
I was slightly jealous of your asparagus.
Hello gorgeous! I didn’t go (sadly) but I would have felt severely ripped off coming all the way from Tassie to Sunny QLD and still being cold 🙂 I’m loving reading all the problogger posts at the moment, next best thing if you can’t actually attend. I wish I took more note of points 2 and 5 at the Sydney Voices meet-up back in May as I’m sure I said a few ridiculous things in all my nervous excitement! I’m glad I wasn’t too shy to come up and say hi to you though!!! Mel xxx
Haha I think as bloggers we naturally are better at communicating via writing rather than speaking! I’m such a twit, it’s hard to overcome that sometimes 😉
I am still so stoked I met you, I would have been the one kicking myself if I hadn’t!
take #2, add me, alcohol and a clap board at a hipster blogger party… and YEAH.
upside: i got to stroke you x
I had to go to the doctor after that clap! 😉
Rad advice! Particularly: sleeping, drinking water and not being shy.
Wasn’t everyone doing a touch of pizza-face stuffing?
Not at my table! All nutritionists with their rice salad and shit. I had four pieces and was all like “HA!”
I bloody loved the weekend and although I had plenty of sleep, my little energy sucker (unborn baby) made sure of that, I still felt completely drained! Dehydrated was the worst. And fan girl moments… Well… I don’t need to tell you about that one 😉
Ha those babies … they bring everyone down! LIttle vampires 🙂
I had no idea you were tired, I couldn’t even tell! And I would have given you a jacket from my room! (And I’m sure It would have been fine if you wore one of those QT dressing gowns) Nice to meet you albeit too briefly !
Going this year and thanks for this post I made similar mistakes last year that I hope to fix this year. It’s like a new years resolution though, I want to but let’s see if I get past the want and actually succeed. 🙂
haha I hope I do it differently too!