I remember it very clearly. It was about five years ago, and I was putting on my makeup for work. Well, at least I was trying to, when I noticed that the creases in my cheek from my pillow still hadn’t smoothed out, and I’d been up for nearly an hour.
“Oh my goddddddd”, I half-wailed to my husband. “My faaaaace doesn’t bounce back any more! It’s the beginning of the end!”. Nothing if not dramatic. I think I even heard him rolling his eyes.
I had dealt with the grey hairs at 25. The “smile lines” (such bullshit, I didn’t even smile until I was 19, just ask my mum), the weird pigment issues, all the bits and pieces that come with being a grown up. But losing collagen? Well, that stuff’s hard to replace. Just ask anyone who’s had a facelift.
I love getting older. Life absolutely kicked ass at age 30, and it only gets better. I actually give less of a fuck about things (including wrinkles, believe it or not), and am as secure in my too-skinny-yet-strangely-wobbly body as I can be at this stage. I’m a happy girl, content with her world.
Which is why it is so interesting to see my body is beginning its ever-so-slight decline. Just as it’s meant to. Skin no longer bounces back, and is starting to get thin on my face and neck. When I’m sitting in the middle of the night patting Pepper with my head on my hand, I notice the effect of gravity GIVING ME THE BEGINNINGS OF JOWLS. Thanks, genetics. Nobody lives forever, our physical vessels begin to take more effort to care for, and your face starts sliding down to meet your chest. Which has already slid down to meet your stomach.
All very normal, yes. Skin is meant to start breaking down in your mid-20s, which you apparently don’t see until your mid-30s (hi). Your bones need extra help from your mid-30s, your teeth start their decline in your 40s, your internal organs from 50 onwards. We shrivel, we shrink, our knees creak, and we can’t run on two hours’ sleep and three cups of coffee any more. Hell, I don’t even want to.
If I ever remembered to drink the required amount of water every day, I probably wouldn’t have a face that’s falling off my head right now. I’d probably need these a lot sooner though.
When did you start noticing you ain’t what you used to be? Did you hate it, or figure it had to happen sometime? (that’s very zen of you, give us some pointers!)